Thread: I need help! Been off the wagon, no motivation.

Imagine yourself with abs, tanned, and ripped. Think of how far you have gone. Think of how much you have accomplished, and how much you're going to accomplish, by sticking to your dieting and continously improving yourself. Now think of how attracted girls are going to be of the man who has set his priorities and goals straight, and doesn't let anyone get in his way.

Good luck, I've been there too, and I know how it feels. Think positively, never let yourself think negatively, and you will get far.

2 + years ago I was close to 270 lbs with absolutely no confidence. Currently I'm at 186. I had my first date where I got a kiss at the end of it, the woman meanwhile telling me how handsome of a man I was throughout the date. I've had women honk their horn at me, and pretty much always get a glance from every woman that walks by me. Just today I had a woman tell me that I look like an athlete. If your motivation is the opposite sex, like many of us on here, then get crackin' and get off your ass. You've come so far already, don't let things go to waste.

First of all skelooth, just like many when I was new here I looked at your thread as a source of motivation for the continuation of my weightloss journey. You yourself expressed the change in attitude women had towards you, so to get called a bull****ter and to get negatively repped is kind of a hit on the ego. Secondly Canucky was looking for motivating posts and not necessarily advice on what to do, so your suggestion to take a break was not a good one. It sounds like from his post that he has been on a break and needs some motivation to get back off of it.

By the way Canucky happy birthday! Have some cake and ice cream along with a huge cheat meal, and get back on that wagon tomorrow.

Start simple. Just do the diet first. Soon you'll be feeling good about that, and then you can work into the gym. Take it step by step. September is a long way away, and you don't have to do everything today. Once your diet is in order, you'll have more energy and you'll want to go to the gym more.

Hi Canucky!

Your plight is one most of us can sympathise with.

Have you ever noticed how the veteran members will often tell people to "take action", or to "stop being so lazy", or "get off your butt"? It happens a lot. But this isn't coming from a bad place and it is not necessarily vindictive.

You see, anyone - and I mean ANYONE - who has lost fat and built themselves a great body knows exactly how much blood, sweat and tears went into it. Such transformations call upon an immense amount of willpower and mental strength and diligence. So they often get a little annoyed that certain individuals think a great body can be handed to them on a platter. It's impossible.

Now. I truly believe that there is a "missing link" when it comes to getting in shape. We all have the *motivation*, i.e. the reasons why we should lose weight. We all have the *equipment*, e.g. the trainers, the dumbbells, the gym membership. But all too often people think that is enough to take action. It isn't. We need something else in order to make us take action on a daily basis.

What is the "missing link"? It is self-discipline. Self-discipline isn't necessarily a skill, but a way of thinking about the world that changes our attitudes to certain tasks. If you can nail that, then you can achieve ANYTHING. I actually had an epiphany a while ago and used that to change my entire life. I went from being a lazy, 60 lbs overweight slob to a vigorous exerciser and dieter, just by *thinking* about the world in a different way.

As it happens, I'm in the process of writing a short ebook about this "missing link" that so many newbies overlook. I truly believe that you can read through this ebook, use some of the techniques I offer, and change your life immediately. I will actually be be needing a few testers for my book, so if you send me a PM I'll send you a free copy when I'm done with it in a few days (it'll probably retail at around $20). All I ask in exchange is a testimonial.

Good luck whichever way you go!

It's you and me man, we got to do this because I probably know what you been through in life being big. We are to close in our goals to stop and quit. Just think about all the people who never took a glance at you and wait til you pass them. BAM who the hell is that person? Anyways just wanted to drop by and let you know that you're not alone in this fight because I am cheering you on, on the sideline. Not just you but every single person who wants to change themselves for the better.

Just as a side note, when I went from ~206lbs to ~175lbs in about 12 months, I felt great about myself. I had so much more confidence and felt really good about myself. I bought a new wardrobe, dressed in clothes I always longed to wear (e.g: 32 waist jeans, tailored shirts etc). HOWEVER, once my image changed, I lost most of my mates I was the same person inside, but I just looked different. I could not, for the life of me, understand WHY they changed towards me. Then I finally worked it out! Whilst on my weight loss journey, their g'friends/wives would always comment about how great I looked and how they admired how dedicated I was to losing all that weight. I don't mean to brag, but they also started flirting with me to a certain degree and I think my "mates" started to feel a bit insecure and starting b!tching about me and denegrading me as a person I didn't need "friends" like that, so I started to weed out all the negative energy in my life. Even lost my best mate over my weight loss journey

Anyway, the moral of my story, do it to make YOURSELF feel better about the person YOU ARE. Don't do it for other people. Once you start to love the way you look and feel, that alone is the motivation you need to stay committed and focused

Originally Posted by Canucky

Hey all, I tried getting back into (hardcore) working out and eating right but keep following off the wagon. I feel a little depressed lately and cant keep up with the dieting, and have no motivation to go to the gym. I have been eating bad lately and my weight is at 215 lbs (I gained 6 lbs )

I need inspiration and motivation to get me going again. I have a goal of reaching 180lbs by September 15th, but right now does not look to bright in me achieving this.

For now I will be posting everything I eat (am trying to get it clean) and everytime I go to the gym.

Any motivating posts or anything will be a godsend and greatly appreciated!

Help me get back into losing the buldge! Thanks!

Also I should add that its my birthday today (I'm 20 today yay I guess)

Don't hate me but...

You just need to stop complaining and go to the gym.

Discipline isn't something you are born with, it's something you develope.

Why do you think that you are just going to magically become motivated while you are sitting there on your butt eating badly and complaining about how you aren't reaching your goals?

You need to workout and eat right weither you feel motivated or not. No one feels motivated all the time.

Just suck it up and do it, or stop complaining about being overweight.

VanessaNicole

(P.S. I'm not being mean, just realistic.)

1. Start taking fish oil, bacopa, and alcar.
2. Do some sort of charity work that interests you.
3. Think long and hard what you want out of life.
4. Choose what you want and imagine you in that role every single day.
5. Believe you'll be that person.

I can't provide you motivation. I can say I was once really depressed and had gained around 40 pounds of fat just going through life aimlessly. I highly recommend at least taking the fish oil and bacopa. From there I'd seriously consider doing something that makes you feel good about yourself such as charity work. It sounds lame and all goody toshoeish but there was a time where I didn't want to speak to anyone and a relative shamed me into going out and working with a charity. That along with a few supplements and eating better made me feel better. It also made me believe that I deserved a better life than I thought I had.

Maybe I'm way off base but you just catch me as being exactly where I was for some reason. Anyways, I wish you the best!

Originally Posted by MissVanessa

Don't hate me but...

You just need to stop complaining and go to the gym.

Discipline isn't something you are born with, it's something you develope.

Why do you think that you are just going to magically become motivated while you are sitting there on your butt eating badly and complaining about how you aren't reaching your goals?

You need to workout and eat right weither you feel motivated or not. No one feels motivated all the time.

Just suck it up and do it, or stop complaining about being overweight.

VanessaNicole

(P.S. I'm not being mean, just realistic.)

Good advice.

Any time I see a post about "How do I get motivated?" I think, well, even if there's some magic trick for "getting motivated", how is the person going to find the motivation to do the trick?

And it was reading a post a lot like yours that helped me get off my 300-pound ass and lose 85 pounds.

Originally Posted by JustLost

Good advice.

Any time I see a post about "How do I get motivated?" I think, well, even if there's some magic trick for "getting motivated", how is the person going to find the motivation to do the trick?

And it was reading a post a lot like yours that helped me get off my 300-pound ass and lose 85 pounds.

An excellent sentiment.

However, I think what you guys have to appreciate is that some people are born self-starters, some people have an action mindset developed by their parents, and other people have a natural born patience to develop discipline. However, there is a large group of people (perhaps the majority) who do not have these skills.

Yes, I absolutely agree that discipline is a skill to be developed like any other. But here we are assuming that an individual has the PATIENCE to see out several weeks of regular dieting and exercise in order to develop that discipline. We cannot develop discipline if we do not have patience. Taking action actually requires a palette of skills, not just a single one.

I am absolutely convinced that patience, self-discipline, proactivity and the like all STEM from a good mindset. If you can look at a project in the correct way, then all those sub-qualities will automatically come to you. They are part of the skill set. Having a *good mindset* is what is needed above everything else.

Originally Posted by MissVanessa

I think this is just an excuse.

It IS an excuse. The term "excuse" has been much misinterpreted over the years. Nowadays when we hear the word "excuse", we automatically think it is a cynical ploy to avoid something. But an "excuse" can be absolutely genuine. And I do believe this is a genuine excuse.

Discipline is like a muscle. Everytime you exercise it it gets a tiny bit stronger.

Absolutely. I did not and would not argue against that.

However, you need PATIENCE in order to develop discipline. Why is it that a lot of people can get through a few days or a couple of weeks of a regime, but then quit? They haven't given themselves sufficient time to develop the self-discipline, and that is because they lack PATIENCE.

If you don't have patience, you will never develop self-discipline. So it's not enough to say one must only develop self-discipline - that is completely overlooking the first step needed to develop that skill.

I feel the same way anybody feels. I sometimes feel like crap or tired or depressed or whatever. I don't always have a good mindset. The only difference is that I drag my sorry butt to the gym anyway. Because there is no such thing as a good excuse.

You DO have a good mindset then.

We all feel miserable or crap or depressed from time to time. You don't have a good mindset by feeling great ALL the time - that's an impossible task. A good mindset is the difference between those who can rise out of adversity against those who stay rooted in it.

Discipline is like respect, you have to earn it.

Yes you do, but you can't run without legs, and you can't develop discipline without patience. Patience is the platform on which discipline is built. If you haven't nailed patience first, then discipline simply won't come.

There is no magical "good mindset" that if you suddenly see it you will miraculously change. It's not a mind game. "Sub-qualities" will not just magically appear.

I disagree profoundly. I absolutely believe it is possible to change your mindset overnight. Does that mean that you'll have a great body and a wealth of skills in 24 hours? No, of course not. You still have to earn them through blood, sweat and tears. But by changing the way you look at life, you change your attitudes towards everything you do. It doesn't make it any physically easier, but it does make it mentally easier.

Let me give you a very simple example. You could have an individual who is absolutely convinced they don't have the "motivation" to get on the treadmill. If you put a gun to their head and threatened to blow out their brains, they would get on that treadmill without a problem. Or to use a less extreme example, if you bribed that person with a million dollars to get on the treadmill, then they would do it. They would change their attitudes with the click of a finger. They would no longer view the exercise as punishing, but rather rewarding. Yes, they will still sweat and still be exhausted and still suffer physical pain, but they will enjoy the process.

It's a long, tough, challenging road anyway you look at it. And no amount of motivation or magical thinking is gonna change that fact.

"Magical thinking" is a fairly patronising term. I'm not a big fan of the self-help movement, but I am an enthusiast about the power of human psychology to change our lives.

If it were easy, then everyone would have a perfect body. It's not easy. But it is attainable.

Nobody has said it is easy. It certainly is not easy to exercise and it is not easy to diet. Suffering will always be there. The difference we're talking about is whether or not an individual EMBRACES this or not.

Sitting around thinking there is some kind of cure, or a certain attitude or pill or anything that will make you who you want to be is futile. And people only hurt themselves with these kind of rationalizations and excuses.

The sooner you except that there is no easy answer, the sooner you can stop making excuses and start making progress.

Telling people that they SHOULD feel miserable and suck it up is not going to get them anywhere, I assure you. They will still be looking at dieting and exercise in the same manner. Look, if they have failed a million times before, what makes you think they will succeed again? The only way you can change an individual is to change their mindset.

A lot of people I know like to think that I was just born naturally disciplined, or that I don't have to work at it. But I've been busting my butt in the gym for the past 6 years, and I watch what I eat every single hour of every single day. Because that is what it takes.

And whether you know it or not, that's because you have a good mindset.

Don't make the mistake of equating a good mindset with "easy-ness". That's not what I'm talking about at all. The only difference between a good mindset and a bad mindset is one who will take action against one who will not. The pain of lifting weights and the wobbly legs of jogging will always be a constant.

Originally Posted by smith79

It IS an excuse. The term "excuse" has been much misinterpreted over the years. Nowadays when we hear the word "excuse", we automatically think it is a cynical ploy to avoid something. But an "excuse" can be absolutely genuine. And I do believe this is a genuine excuse.

A genuine excuse is still just an excuse and there is no excuse worth making.

VanessaNicole

Originally Posted by smith79

I am absolutely convinced that patience, self-discipline, proactivity and the like all STEM from a good mindset. If you can look at a project in the correct way, then all those sub-qualities will automatically come to you. They are part of the skill set. Having a *good mindset* is what is needed above everything else.

Sure.

I still think there's a fundamental dilemma when the questions comes up. I mean, in the end, the exchange boils down to this:

Q: How can I get off my ass and go to the gym?
A: By getting off your ass and going to the gym.

Originally Posted by Canucky

I have been eating bad lately and my weight is at 215 lbs (I gained 6 lbs )

I need inspiration and motivation to get me going again. I have a goal of reaching 180lbs by September 15th, but right now does not look to bright in me achieving this.

For now I will be posting everything I eat (am trying to get it clean) and everytime I go to the gym.

One habit that's helped me is to every time I eat, ask myself, "How does this meal fit into my goals? Is it contributiong to the kind of body I want to have, or hindering it?" That question made a lot of stuff that I used to like look like poison to me.

same thing with working out. Sometimes I Just. Do. Not. Want. to. Do. This. Crap.

But I do. (Usually. )

The hardest part is getting started. If you invest that effort, doing the things you need to do becomes a habit. Self-discipline becomes a habit. You start finding it easier to pass up the buffet, or to grind out one more set of squats, or whatever. Part of the reason, though, is that your definition of "easy" changes as you make progress.

The bottom line is this, though: Decide if it's important enough to you to put out the effort. If it is, then go for it.

Originally Posted by MissVanessa

A genuine excuse is still just an excuse and there is no excuse worth making.

VanessaNicole

I can't reply to your post because I have bad genetics and a sore elbow.

Originally Posted by JustLost

Sure.

I still think there's a fundamental dilemma when the questions comes up. I mean, in the end, the exchange boils down to this:

Q: How can I get off my ass and go to the gym?
A: By getting off your ass and going to the gym.

Yep. It should be incredibly simple.

Yet millions can't do it. If you've conditioned your brain to think a certain way about certain things, then practical step by step instructions make little difference. It's kinda like trying to drive a car with a punctured tyre.

Those NLP guys provide good anecdotal evidence for mind formatting. They take an individual with a lifelong phobia and cure them within half an hour. It's worth some respect.