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  1. #1
    Registered User Rattelsnake's Avatar
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    Gym approach questions

    For those with gym approach experience, what's worked for you in the past that you would recommend doing for the following:

    1) A Miscer had a post that estimated the success rate of approaching at gyms was 20:1. Was this your experience? or higher or lower?

    2) What's a realistic target to set for above? how many approaches to make in one gym session? 1-2? weekly? monthly? I have a gym franchise membership, so once I get a plan in place, I can spread this around a couple different gyms each week.

    3) Do you wait for a reliable indicator of interest prior to approaching? if so, which IOI have you found to be the strongest? How do you know the difference between just being friendly vs actual IOI?

    4) Which selection criteria do you use primarily when deciding the order of making more than one approach? Do you start out with approaching highest SMV to lowest acceptable SMV regardless of IOI? Or do you start out with approaching those showing strongest IOI to weakest IOI regardless of SMV? what if you're not attracted to them but they're the only ones showing you IOI? do you approach them anyway?

    5) How do you stay motivated and avoid procrastination? I lost out on numerous opportunities because I didn't want to leave the comfort of being in the zone. I figured I can always catch them later, only to never see them again. How do you stop procrastinating?
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  2. #2
    my non-edited 'before'pic etet1919's Avatar
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    Lord.. Let me give this one a try since I'm a woman who has been in gyms for 15 years dealing with ALL types of male "gym rats."

    Serious-minded lifters like myself do NOT like to be approached while training!! It disturbs our focus!! The serious-minded guys feel the same way even when there are hot women around, believe or not.


    ^^So, try approaching AFTER they are fully done training. I don't think it matters whether they are giving you "signals" or not...remember, the serious-minded lifters may not have even noticed you. And it's nothing personal. Some are just very intense and like to stay focused while performing at a high capacity- these women aren't thinking about sex during these moments.


    ^^ And speaking of sex, why approach women you're not attracted to??! Wouldn't they be able to tell from your body language that you're being deceitful? It wouldn't be nice to take advantage of that.

    Yes, the flirtatious ones are easy- they love the attention. They will be the ones smiling all the time and not training very hard, if at all. Those are the approachable gym bunnies (remember BEHAVIOR- not they way they're dressed!).


    It's never easy to leave your comfort zone! But it's worth the risk even if you "fail." You'll never know if you missed out on meeting a genuinely nice and normal woman if you don't get up the courage and try. But be real. Don't act like a PUA. Most can see through that easily.
    Last edited by etet1919; 04-05-2021 at 04:07 AM.
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  3. #3
    Registered User ChangeOfStyle's Avatar
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    Stop this dumb bullchit of approaching chicks at the gym, go there to lift and then approach outside if you want once you both are done training. If you want to build up your confidence and such and don't have that fear of rejection then that's good mate but in my opinion doing it at the gym is not the go.

    Look if a chick is smiling at you and chit and giving you IOI'S then by all means, approach and make your intentions known that you'd like to get to know her better after training and then resume your training. It'll build up the mystery and such but don't go out of your way and just start cold approaching random girls in the gym

    Can't put in 110% effort in training if you're spending 90% of the mentality of that in 'socialising'
    Last edited by ChangeOfStyle; 04-05-2021 at 04:40 AM.
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  4. #4
    Registered User Titansfan08's Avatar
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    Met my wife in the gym. Mired her for like 2 months before growing the balls to approach. We were both doing DB work and she was next to me and I just started some small talk and next time I saw her in the gym I asked for her #. She played little hard to get but got # and texted and set up date and rest is history.
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    Registered User GetFlackedFoo's Avatar
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    You should just go into there locker room op and approach them there

    remember youre the prize not her
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  6. #6
    Registered User Rattelsnake's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ChangeOfStyle View Post
    Stop this dumb bullchit of approaching chicks at the gym, go there to lift and then approach outside if you want once you both are done training. If you want to build up your confidence and such and don't have that fear of rejection then that's good mate but in my opinion doing it at the gym is not the go.

    Look if a chick is smiling at you and chit and giving you IOI'S then by all means, approach and make your intentions known that you'd like to get to know her better after training and then resume your training. It'll build up the mystery and such but don't go out of your way and just start cold approaching random girls in the gym

    Can't put in 110% effort in training if you're spending 90% of the mentality of that in 'socialising'
    All good points. I actually don't utilize the gym to socialize much either. But since I don't use apps, and this is one of the few real life meeting places I have access to, I have to go where my pool is. Although my script is to get quick to the point anyway: "Excuse me, may I ask you a question?" if yes, "Are you single?" if yes "would you like to meet up this weekend?" if yes, "how about I get your number to confirm time date and place?" and then "thank you, I'll let you get back to your workout."

    I also have to make sure I approach the moment someone that peaks my interest from now on, because if I wait too long, they'll leave. I went to the gym these last three times to approach my latest gym crush, and sure enough, current crush was nowhere, vanished into thin air again, just like all the previous crushes I delayed approaching.

    Interesting observation though. While half lamenting/half questioning my disbelief over yet another disappearance, I noticed a couple others were checking me out, and thought to myself time to re-calibrate and move my sights to new prospects showing IOI, that which is attainable and within reach at the moment, but did not. I have yet to resolve this dilemma on whether to approach someone I don't have initial attraction for and see if it comes eventually as I get to know them or should I just keep it moving, but keep my pool small in doing so. Which is another topic altogether, probably best for a separate thread.

    Originally Posted by Titansfan08 View Post
    Met my wife in the gym. Mired her for like 2 months before growing the balls to approach. We were both doing DB work and she was next to me and I just started some small talk and next time I saw her in the gym I asked for her #. She played little hard to get but got # and texted and set up date and rest is history.
    Nice. I knew there were people out here with success stories. Good to hear, thanks for sharing.
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  7. #7
    jack j jj jack your body nin-com-poop's Avatar
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    It's so stupid seeing people at the gym small chatting with both men and women when their intentions are quite evident so they don't seem like a creep to women.
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  8. #8
    Registered User TXBuddy's Avatar
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    I would caution Gym hook ups. It's like messing with girls from work. if it doesn't work out, your safe space is ruined.
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  9. #9
    Registered User alriva37's Avatar
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    Don't approach girls at the gym while they're working out. No one wants to be bothered. Maybe you could make small talk outside the gym? But even then it could be kinda creepy. Just put in work at the gym, stop hitting on girls my guy haha
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    Originally Posted by alriva37 View Post
    Don't approach girls at the gym while they're working out. No one wants to be bothered. Maybe you could make small talk outside the gym? But even then it could be kinda creepy. Just put in work at the gym, stop hitting on girls my guy haha
    stfu

    this argument is so dumb, because the goalposts can always be moved

    "dont hit on girls at the gym, they don't want to be bothered"

    "dont hit on girls at work, they don't want to be bothered"

    "don't hit on girls at the bar, they don't want to be bothered just want to drink with their friends"

    As long as you fuk off if they reject or make it clear they are disinterested, you'll be good. You are bothering or harassing someone if you repeatedly make unwanted advance.
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    Originally Posted by DBoyDaRealest View Post
    stfu

    this argument is so dumb, because the goalposts can always be moved

    "dont hit on girls at the gym, they don't want to be bothered"

    "dont hit on girls at work, they don't want to be bothered"

    "don't hit on girls at the bar, they don't want to be bothered just want to drink with their friends"

    As long as you fuk off if they reject or make it clear they are disinterested, you'll be good. You are bothering or harassing someone if you repeatedly make unwanted advance.
    hitting on girls at the bar seems acceptable since its kinda bar culture to get drunk and hook up. People go to the gym and work for specific reasons though and they're kinda trapped in there with you. I mean if you don't go out to bars/events and the gym is the only place you see other girls go for it. I just dont think its ideal because it will have a higher chance of having them feel uncomfortable/trapped/annoyed (especially if they didn't give you any IOI)
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