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    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    Unhappy Ex-GF Keeping Dog

    Mutual breakup, sh!t hasn’t been working out for awhile now. Only thing that has been keeping us together is our lease and our puppy we got a year ago. She’s keeping the dog, because she works from home now and has been for a year, so he’s used to her a majority of the day. Makes me sick to my stomach thinking about not being able to see my buddy everyday. She said I can see him whenever I want to, but I feel like that will just make it worse for me, and confuse him.

    Anyone been through this?
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  2. #2
    we're full Custo's Avatar
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    Similar situation years ago. I broke up with her, only because she wasn't a good fit for me. she pretty much dropped all of her friends and made me her life so when i left she had no support. At the time it seemed she needed the dog more than me. I didn't visit the dog because it wouldn't make me feel good to leave again, might confuse the dog and also wouldn't help the ex.

    I still think it was probably the right decision but it was chitty position to be in, I've learned my lesson..... When buying a pet, clearly establish ownership at the start.
    AP#3
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    Top Tier Manlet Jasonw1178's Avatar
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    Damn bro that's rough. It's like you have a child together. It would be cool if you could visit sometimes and take him out to a park or something, I don't know.
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    muscular Brahette-Goddess MeFromG's Avatar
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    I would go visit him whenever I could if I were you. E.g. dogs in an animal shelter were always so happy to have someone petting them and going out for a walk or run together.

    He will soon learn that you always come back. You don't have to be 24/7 close to him in order for him to be happy seeing you, content in general and excited going on adventures with you.
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    My Baby’s Momma kept our dog but get this the cold hearted bish gave the dog away within a couple of months. Didn’t even ask me. I’ve got a kid by her. I think it’s because she didn’t want me showing how responsible I was as she didn’t want me to have my kid 50/50 but jeez.
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    Registered User Murph0408's Avatar
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    i split with someone years ago and kept the dog, who was like 5 months old at the time. obviously getting a dog didn't fix our issues.

    the "you can come visit him" bit lasted about 2-3 weeks before we both agreed it wasn't working. just doesn't. i'm very thankful i kept him. sorry to hear it OP.
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    Originally Posted by Custo View Post
    Similar situation years ago. I broke up with her, only because she wasn't a good fit for me. she pretty much dropped all of her friends and made me her life so when i left she had no support. At the time it seemed she needed the dog more than me. I didn't visit the dog because it wouldn't make me feel good to leave again, might confuse the dog and also wouldn't help the ex.

    I still think it was probably the right decision but it was chitty position to be in, I've learned my lesson..... When buying a pet, clearly establish ownership at the start.
    We established that he’s my dog if we broke up, but she works from home and I don’t so it wouldn’t be fair for me to take him. Also, she has no family here, and my whole family is here. Can’t do that to her or the pup
    "Stop sitting back saying yeah man, I wanna be this, I wanna be that, grab your phucking nuts and be it" -Greg Plitt

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    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Jasonw1178 View Post
    Damn bro that's rough. It's like you have a child together. It would be cool if you could visit sometimes and take him out to a park or something, I don't know.
    Super rough. She said I can take him every other weekend, or to the park whenever, but I just don’t think this is going to last. Taking him every other weekend would be confusing as fuk for him
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  9. #9
    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Murph0408 View Post
    i split with someone years ago and kept the dog, who was like 5 months old at the time. obviously getting a dog didn't fix our issues.

    the "you can come visit him" bit lasted about 2-3 weeks before we both agreed it wasn't working. just doesn't. i'm very thankful i kept him. sorry to hear it OP.
    Thanks brah. Seeing him every couple weeks or whatever seems like it would make the situation 10x worse for me. Having to say goodbye over and over.
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    Registered Alpha mgftp's Avatar
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    Been through exactly this.

    Had a dog 1-2 w/ an ex I was splitting with. I was working a job that was really busy as I built my career, including long days and travel. When thinking about what was best for the dog who will already struggle with the breakup regardless it was letting him go to my ex who was working from home.

    Not gonna lie, it was tough. But as with anything in life time heals and things get easier. Years later when my schedule settled down I got another dog for myself, and a 2nd dog recently.

    Just do what is best for the dog, be at peace with that, and everything will be fine.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mgftp View Post
    Been through exactly this.

    Had a dog 1-2 w/ an ex I was splitting with. I was working a job that was really busy as I built my career, including long days and travel. When thinking about what was best for the dog who will already struggle with the breakup regardless it was letting him go to my ex who was working from home.

    Not gonna lie, it was tough. But as with anything in life time heals and things get easier. Years later when my schedule settled down I got another dog for myself, and a 2nd dog recently.

    Just do what is best for the dog, be at peace with that, and everything will be fine.
    Thanks brah. I know I’m making the right decision, but I know how hard the next few months are going to be too. Was seeing the dog once in awhile an option for you?
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    Registered Alpha mgftp's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    Thanks brah. I know I’m making the right decision, but I know how hard the next few months are going to be too. Was seeing the dog once in awhile an option for you?
    It was an option but I choose not to. I didn't think it would be beneficial for me "getting over" the dog in the long term. I think seeing him would only add to how hard it was, wanting to take him home, second guessing my decision, etc. Beyond that I like clean breaks in relationships off the bat, don't see keeping in touch with ex's initially after breakups as beneficial whatsoever.
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    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by mgftp View Post
    It was an option but I choose not to. I didn't think it would be beneficial for me "getting over" the dog in the long term. I think seeing him would only add to how hard it was, wanting to take him home, second guessing my decision, etc. Beyond that I like clean breaks in relationships off the bat, don't see keeping in touch with ex's initially after breakups as beneficial whatsoever.
    Agree on everything. Idk if I can just go cold turkey on not seeing him, even though that’s probably the best in the long run
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    Registered Alpha mgftp's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    Agree on everything. Idk if I can just go cold turkey on not seeing him, even though that’s probably the best in the long run
    Often time the roads with the greatest rewards at the end seem the hardest to travel in the beginning.

    I couldn't be happier where my life is now, career, relationship, new dogs. Wasn't an easy decision for me but was best in the long run, and best for my old dog to be with the person who's be around most.
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    Would never, ever let an ex-gf keep one of my puppers.

    You must be out of your mind. And what a chit excuse that is "she works from home and I don't". Might be going out on a limb here but the majority of dog owners have a work schedule?? Maximum betrayal.
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    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Kadoobiedo View Post
    Would never, ever let an ex-gf keep one of my puppers.

    You must be out of your mind. And what a chit excuse that is "she works from home and I don't". Might be going out on a limb here but the majority of dog owners have a work schedule?? Maximum betrayal.
    It’s our pupper, not just mine. Not going to leave my one year old puppy at home all day from 8-5, when he could be with my ex all day with multiple bathroom breaks and a walk at lunch. Plus, he’s used to this schedule. You would put the bitterness of the breakup before your dog it seems.

    Also, fuk you.
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    Originally Posted by Kadoobiedo View Post
    Would never, ever let an ex-gf keep one of my puppers.

    You must be out of your mind. And what a chit excuse that is "she works from home and I don't". Might be going out on a limb here but the majority of dog owners have a work schedule?? Maximum betrayal.
    Very selfish mindset
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    Sounds like you've made the right decision even though it's tough and it hurts. That's what a man does, or should do. Unfortunately because you're a guy, no-one else will give a chit about your pain. Still you'll come through it and stronger because you did what you needed to.
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    Mutual breakup, sh!t hasn’t been working out for awhile now. Only thing that has been keeping us together is our lease and our puppy we got a year ago. She’s keeping the dog, because she works from home now and has been for a year, so he’s used to her a majority of the day. Makes me sick to my stomach thinking about not being able to see my buddy everyday. She said I can see him whenever I want to, but I feel like that will just make it worse for me, and confuse him.

    Anyone been through this?
    Yeah. Seeing him whenever you want prob isn't going to work out for either of you. It's best to move on. He'll be fine and so will you.
    They say a wise man knows nothing, so I know a lot less
    But I been where you at homie, put to the test
    The answer lies deep within, so open your chest
    And find God within yourself and he'll show you the rest
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    Registered User Droopdx's Avatar
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    She thinks we can share the dog. Maybe I take him one week and she has him one week, or I come see him on the weekends.

    She really thinks this can work for the rest of his life and made a dumb comparison of me abandoning our kids if we had any.
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    She thinks we can share the dog. Maybe I take him one week and she has him one week, or I come see him on the weekends.

    She really thinks this can work for the rest of his life and made a dumb comparison of me abandoning our kids if we had any.
    Lmao if she makes the comparison of children to a dog, you made the right decision to breakup.

    The dog will be fine. If it causes either of you stress to have to stay in contact to share/visit the dog, it's not worth it.

    If you are able to stay amicable and the dog will not be used as a pawn to guilt the other person and/or a reason to stay in each others lives (still have an emotional attachment) then sure keep visiting or make a schedule.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Lmao if she makes the comparison of children to a dog, you made the right decision to breakup.

    The dog will be fine. If it causes either of you stress to have to stay in contact to share/visit the dog, it's not worth it.

    If you are able to stay amicable and the dog will not be used as a pawn to guilt the other person and/or a reason to stay in each others lives (still have an emotional attachment) then sure keep visiting or make a schedule.
    She’s planning on moving 30 minutes away. She loves my family, and she has no friends or family here so I think she’s trying to stay in the loop. If I got a new gf down the line I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate me meeting up with my ex to get our shared dog lol. If a girl told me she shared custody of a dog with her ex I’d walk away immediately.
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    She thinks we can share the dog. Maybe I take him one week and she has him one week, or I come see him on the weekends.

    She really thinks this can work for the rest of his life and made a dumb comparison of me abandoning our kids if we had any.
    Neither one of you will move on if you keep seeing each other. Even if you do end up being friendly its best for both of you to disengage and go on with your lives.
    They say a wise man knows nothing, so I know a lot less
    But I been where you at homie, put to the test
    The answer lies deep within, so open your chest
    And find God within yourself and he'll show you the rest
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    I think she’s trying to stay in the loop.

    If a girl told me she shared custody of a dog with her ex I’d walk away immediately.
    The answer is clear my friend.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    The answer is clear my friend.
    It is. Just hope my pup doesn’t think I abandoned him

    Going to be a rough couple of months
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    She thinks we can share the dog. Maybe I take him one week and she has him one week, or I come see him on the weekends.

    She really thinks this can work for the rest of his life and made a dumb comparison of me abandoning our kids if we had any.
    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    She’s planning on moving 30 minutes away. She loves my family, and she has no friends or family here so I think she’s trying to stay in the loop. If I got a new gf down the line I’m sure she wouldn’t appreciate me meeting up with my ex to get our shared dog lol. If a girl told me she shared custody of a dog with her ex I’d walk away immediately.
    IMO, you gotta just lay down you get the dog or she does and you want a clean break on the relationship. And just be honest that you think the dog is best with her due to scheduling. Splitting custody of a dog is a nightmare for your mental health and any potential new relationships down the line.

    I've reconnected with EX's years down the line but I prefer not to and see nothing but negatives that come from keeping in touch with an EX directly following a breakup.
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    Originally Posted by mgftp View Post
    IMO, you gotta just lay down you get the dog or she does and you want a clean break on the relationship. And just be honest that you think the dog is best with her due to scheduling. Splitting custody of a dog is a nightmare for your mental health and any potential new relationships down the line.

    I've reconnected with EX's years down the line but I prefer not to and see nothing but negatives that come from keeping in touch with an EX directly following a breakup.
    Yup, I’m going to tell my family to cut off contact from her as well.
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    She's fine to break up but she doesn't want the consequences of that decision, which include the loss of your companionship and that of your family. Guilting you about the dog is a way to get what she wants.
    "A stupid man's report of what a clever man says can never be accurate, because he unconsciously translates what he hears into something he can understand."
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    Originally Posted by Mr Beer View Post
    She's fine to break up but she doesn't want the consequences of that decision, which include the loss of your companionship and that of your family. Guilting you about the dog is a way to get what she wants.
    Yeah she wants it her way, and when I say no that’s not how it’s going to go she hints that I’m abandoning the dog.

    Saying goodbye to my dog for the last time is going to break me
    Last edited by Droopdx; 03-24-2021 at 09:15 AM.
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    Originally Posted by Droopdx View Post
    She thinks we can share the dog. Maybe I take him one week and she has him one week, or I come see him on the weekends.

    She really thinks this can work for the rest of his life and made a dumb comparison of me abandoning our kids if we had any.
    That’s dumb. And her guilting you over this is manipulative.
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