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  1. #1
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Dating 2021, Giving Up

    With my mom dying, and being 32 and dated countless women I have noticed one trend - while these women did care about me they are biologically wired to stop caring at times of weakness or difficulty, (ie no money, health issues, etc).

    Women are often portrayed as being caring and compassionate. On the surface that is true but on a deeper level it is not. Most are much more self serving than youd think and youd often get more compassion over having a beer with your bro than from your gf.

    It seems as if men have been lied to by society and women idealized in way that is not really accurate.

    I always thought I'd find a girl to truely connect with but now I'm not so sure. Seems its nothing more than an exchange of resources.

    Over half the women are posting slu.tty selfies on in insta, why would a man date these women ? Only desperation is why and lack of desirable long term partners in the west. Most women flirt shamelessly and have no respect for their man.

    The only true connection I ever felt with a girl was with a virgin. Women having dating many men are not good partners. There is a reason virgins are prized.

    I hooked up with countless girls with bfs husbands etc so that makes dating even harder.

    I think men need to realize that looking for love, compassion, caring, from a woman in 2021 is not very realistic. Maybe from and old school culture (older thai woman, Vietnam etc).

    You brahs giving up on finding the one and just focusing on leveling up? What should a man do in 2021?
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  2. #2
    Registered User Drifterlonghair's Avatar
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    I feel your pain bro but there are actually still some good girls out there, but you have to get lucky to run across one and doubly lucky for the two of you to be a good fit in other ways. It is definitely hard out there right now.

    Your point about women being hardwired to pull back in times of struggle is also not universally true IMO. There are truly nice loving caring females out there I have learned from my current relationship and I can only counsel you to hang in there buddy and keep searching for the right one. We’re all gonna make it
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  3. #3
    Registered User HowToDeal4's Avatar
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    you're right man

    unfortunately it seems all the decnt girls are already in LTRs or locked down

    the girls left over are ****ing rubbish and not even worth it being with.
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  4. #4
    Registered User OptimusTrajan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HowToDeal4 View Post
    you're right man

    unfortunately it seems all the decnt girls are already in LTRs or locked down

    the girls left over are ****ing rubbish and not even worth it being with.
    Yep.
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  5. #5
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by HowToDeal4 View Post
    you're right man

    unfortunately it seems all the decnt girls are already in LTRs or locked down

    the girls left over are ****ing rubbish and not even worth it being with.
    These women are very very difficult to find
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  6. #6
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dale1988 View Post
    These women are very very difficult to find
    Then go for someone more mature.
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  7. #7
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    The common denominator in your negative experiences is you.

    Yes - quality women exist. It's up to you to decide what kind of man you want to be and hopefully that aligns with the types of women you desire to attract.
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  8. #8
    Registered User goonsondeck's Avatar
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    when you look into the eyes of a woman that slept w lots of men and a woman who is a virgin its like night and day man

    the way she looks at you when u take her v's its like she will give her life for you SRS

    only marry virgin or forget it smash n dash
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  9. #9
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by goonsondeck View Post
    when you look into the eyes of a woman that slept w lots of men and a woman who is a virgin its like night and day man

    the way she looks at you when u take her v's its like she will give her life for you SRS

    only marry virgin or forget it smash n dash
    Lol soo true
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  10. #10
    Registered User Dale1988's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    The common denominator in your negative experiences is you.

    Yes - quality women exist. It's up to you to decide what kind of man you want to be and hopefully that aligns with the types of women you desire to attract.
    I attract borderlines theres nothing I can do about it they are like moth to the flame
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  11. #11
    Registered User DustinTheHuss's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dale1988 View Post
    I attract borderlines theres nothing I can do about it they are like moth to the flame
    Then you need to fix you if you attract them.
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  12. #12
    Registered User friesbruh's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    The common denominator in your negative experiences is you.

    Yes - quality women exist. It's up to you to decide what kind of man you want to be and hopefully that aligns with the types of women you desire to attract.
    Some of the dumbest chit on the misc.
    bro country crew / coffee shop crew / extra onion crew / vetTV crew / m&p crew / trump crew / buffalo bills crew
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  13. #13
    Registered User RyanJLuu's Avatar
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    I'm incline to think you are right for now. I feel that western women don't value men as much as we do for them. I'm currently looking for foreign women in hopes their values are much different than here in usa. I am moving to a different state hopefully that's different in perspective of where i am now. Who knows? I'll just keep working on bettering myself and whatever comes along thats worth my time, so be it.
    "Become Better You - Physically and Mentally"
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  14. #14
    therapist (srs) xvicknumber7x's Avatar
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    im 30 and tbh i sometimes ask myself what is the point of any of this, but then I think that i'll never find someone awesome to add to my life if I give up, and if I give up, that could have been the day before the date with someone who changes my life for the better. the reality is that not all of us are meant to find someone, but i know that if i actually believe in myself as a catch (and I do) then i have to keep trying to find the right person to build something with. time will pass anyway, might as well keep trying. and i've been trying to be mindful of fixing up my own shortcomings and mindsets regarding dating as well as i grow older. cant remain the same person when youre attracting the wrong types (believe me, I do it too, always always always attract the heavy depression/anxiety girls due to my profession) so continued growth and paying attention to what has happened so far is important.
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  15. #15
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I usually like your posts but this is just wrong. Literally 100% of guys have these negative experiences. The common denominator is women. I've NEVER talked to a dude who hasn't had a lot of sh!tty experiences with females.

    Also to the rest of you, this talk about "virgins" is retarded.
    If I remember correctly, OP also dates women with obvious red flags and resorts to hookers regularly.

    Not saying you should be swimming in endless options of quality women but if you're putting yourself out there and haven't found any in years then yes I would think part of the problem is you.
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  16. #16
    therapist (srs) xvicknumber7x's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Bonesbrahh View Post
    I usually like your posts but this is just wrong. Literally 100% of guys have these negative experiences. The common denominator is women. I've NEVER talked to a dude who hasn't had a lot of sh!tty experiences with females.

    Also to the rest of you, this talk about "virgins" is retarded.
    to be fair I feel like every single woman has a tale about some ******* douche they used to run with too so i just think most people are shiitty partners tbh with no real consideration for who they are involved with in the early going.
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  17. #17
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    When you get older boyos you realize the compromise, the only advantage is children, Although I have a daughter myself as a single man, I don't have the relationship or bonding experience that a married couple will get. For this pleasure and dare i say it absolutely vital part of life you give up everything. You give up happiness, you give up yourself as a person, you are forced into a lifestyle of living in a ****ty suburb, watching dancing with the stars trying to show off to other losers, There is no guarantee your sloot of a wife will not stray and that also applies to you. This is what awaits you, so don't get too down. at 36 I've seen the trend you boyos are talking about, from decent girl to cum dumpster sloot. I have friends from High School back in Perth Australia, who did get married early to woman they are still with. Are they happy? yes are they are happy because they have children they love. Are they happy with their wive and lives? **** no! are their wives happy with them??? even worse. as Looks Maximus points it out well, being with a woman even a hot one gets very old boring and tedius fast. sadly most cheat, as pointed out I've coomed inside soo many woman with bfs or husbands etc. Funniest one was a Singaporean lawyer I used to smash raw dog, and her corporate superstar husband who did everything right in life, job, work hard, education still too the sloot back when he found out I was rawdogging her for ****s and giggles.

    If your life is **** make it better, take risks, you can do that when your single. I'm down in Mexico City, smashing puss and trying to go on my own for a bit, I'll head back to Asia via Australia when covid chills out. Travel overseas plenty of young americans here in Mexico doing the same ****. If you think a woman is going to make it better or your pissed about modern sloots and how they act, just play their game and slam them, they are not yours and never will be. You think your mom and dad are still cuddling? you think your friends in relationships are happy or not cheating comon bro, the difference now is woman have wised up to the game and do equally amount of cheating.

    If your every feeling lonely or despondent check out deadbedrooms subreddit. That will make your day in a second,
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  18. #18
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    Sorry about your mom op
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  19. #19
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    Originally Posted by Dale1988 View Post
    With my mom dying, and being 32 and dated countless women I have noticed one trend - while these women did care about me they are biologically wired to stop caring at times of weakness or difficulty, (ie no money, health issues, etc).

    Women are often portrayed as being caring and compassionate. On the surface that is true but on a deeper level it is not. Most are much more self serving than youd think and youd often get more compassion over having a beer with your bro than from your gf.
    Ow I feel this part, it's a shame to feel this way but I feel like I'll never be able to let my guard down around a female if I'm getting down on life. I was very guarded with my feelings/emotions with my ex but she was madly in love with me and said she wanted nothing more than for me to be more open with her, she let me know that she was my life partner, was there to support me through thick and thin and that we would do things as a team. She started going through a rough time with her father getting ill and chopping and changing jobs and I was always making the effort to be with her and support her through it.

    I started struggling with a new job myself - working 12 hour days for months as a new graduate in a hospital, being exposed to death, watching people die and just being in a generally highly emotional environment. It took a toll on my mental health and I became pretty neurotic. I leant on her a lot for the last few months; venting, talking about my "feelings" being "open" which is what she said she always wanted. Within a few months she had stopped having sex with me and ultimately said that she was no longer attracted to me and only saw me as a friend. But she couldn't explain why, she said her feelings just changed and we broke up.

    Sad thing is she was a genuinely lovely girl, came from a great family, always used to say how we were so alike and perfect together and never showed any sign of unfaithfulness/sluttiness and I truly believed her when she told me she would be there to support me. I think females being biologically wired to stop caring at times of weakness has some truth to it. She was so in love with me and it all changed when I was at my weakest and she couldn't put into words why her feelings changed, they just did.

    Sorry to hear about your mum OP, I hope she recovers if she is able. If not I hope that her passing is gentle and not too traumatic for your family. I don't think you should just give up on women completely. I'm a bit jaded after my experience with my ex, but I think as a man if you are looking for someone to confide in when you are at your weakest, you should stick to your family and your bros. Women don't seem to have the capacity to "be the rock" in the relationship even if it's only temporary.

    It's not that they lack compassion, I just think that most women struggle to be compassionate/sympathetic towards a man whilst maintaining their desire/attraction for them. Goes hand in hand with neediness/clingyness being the biggest attraction killer. I don't think its the same for men as we're historically the protectors/providers, so when our partner is down in the dumps, showing compassion and caring for them doesn't kill our attraction for them because it's just innately part of what we do. Then again I could be talking nonsense and just trying to cope
    Last edited by tommeh9; 02-23-2021 at 06:01 AM.
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  20. #20
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    Originally Posted by Dale1988 View Post
    I attract borderlines theres nothing I can do about it they are like moth to the flame
    you can say no you know
    SchleichDiDuOaschloch

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  21. #21
    Registered User ManwittaPlan's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Dale1988 View Post
    With my mom dying, and being 32 and dated countless women I have noticed one trend - while these women did care about me they are biologically wired to stop caring at times of weakness or difficulty, (ie no money, health issues, etc).

    Women are often portrayed as being caring and compassionate. On the surface that is true but on a deeper level it is not. Most are much more self serving than youd think and youd often get more compassion over having a beer with your bro than from your gf.

    It seems as if men have been lied to by society and women idealized in way that is not really accurate.

    I always thought I'd find a girl to truely connect with but now I'm not so sure. Seems its nothing more than an exchange of resources.

    Over half the women are posting slu.tty selfies on in insta, why would a man date these women ? Only desperation is why and lack of desirable long term partners in the west. Most women flirt shamelessly and have no respect for their man.

    The only true connection I ever felt with a girl was with a virgin. Women having dating many men are not good partners. There is a reason virgins are prized.

    I hooked up with countless girls with bfs husbands etc so that makes dating even harder.

    I think men need to realize that looking for love, compassion, caring, from a woman in 2021 is not very realistic. Maybe from and old school culture (older thai woman, Vietnam etc).

    You brahs giving up on finding the one and just focusing on leveling up? What should a man do in 2021?
    You need to aim for the right target area.

    You want something stable and permanent aim 18-22. Youre 32, that’s not a big age gap. You can identify problems before they’ve manifested into a huge issues. You’re also not wasting their time because they have more years to spare. Then you can successfully mold them to your liking and figure out what both of you want out of life.

    Remember, you want them as young and as thin as possible. They’re always gonna get older and they’re always gonna get fatter.
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