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  1. #1
    Registered User user3657's Avatar
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    Asked a co-worker out and now she's acting different..

    I asked a co-worker out...she started in the summer and she's going through a divorce..she's made a few passes and was comfortable around me

    The other night she asked what I was doing so I said let's go get some drinks and and she said she couldn't blah blah...

    Okay fine... I feel like the entire dynamic has changed. Everytime I see her she's still friendly but her body language is closed/tight..

    I don't know what the issue is and the last thing I want is her to be uncomfortable....

    I know her ex cheated on her so did I bring up some bad emotions or am I just over thinking this??? I don't understand why she lead me into this and then having this reaction...
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    Registered User Imnew1's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by user3657 View Post
    I asked a co-worker out...she started in the summer and she's going through a divorce..she's made a few passes and was comfortable around me

    The other night she asked what I was doing so I said let's go get some drinks and and she said she couldn't blah blah...

    Okay fine... I feel like the entire dynamic has changed. Everytime I see her she's still friendly but her body language is closed/tight..

    I don't know what the issue is and the last thing I want is her to be uncomfortable....

    I know her ex cheated on her so did I bring up some bad emotions or am I just over thinking this??? I don't understand why she lead me into this and then having this reaction...
    Leave her alone. You did nothing wrong. If she just wanted attention from guys post divorce to feel better about herself, but wasn't into you, and is now creeped out that her coworker likes her well then whatever. Quit talking to her and keep it casual and friendly when she does. Don't get fired, or make it any more awkward. Zero reason of trying to figure out what's going on in her head vs protecting your job. You never can be too safe with people you don't really know very much outside of a standard work environment.
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  3. #3
    No homo... GiveMeTheD's Avatar
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    This is why I stopped dating co workers in my early 20s. Not worth the potential fallout in the workplace.
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    Or you just read her completely wrong because youre a beta virgin incel that has never had a girl even talk to you.
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  6. #6
    Registered User user3657's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BullittEV View Post
    Or you just read her completely wrong because youre a beta virgin incel that has never had a girl even talk to you.
    bro shes cute as **** and i dont care ive ****ed co-workers before but i wanted to know where I stood. I actually thought I had it 100%. I
    Originally Posted by kovalchuk71 View Post
    Never chit where you eat.

    C’mon son
    yep....

    Originally Posted by Imnew1 View Post
    Leave her alone. You did nothing wrong. If she just wanted attention from guys post divorce to feel better about herself, but wasn't into you, and is now creeped out that her coworker likes her well then whatever. Quit talking to her and keep it casual and friendly when she does. Don't get fired, or make it any more awkward. Zero reason of trying to figure out what's going on in her head vs protecting your job. You never can be too safe with people you don't really know very much outside of a standard work environment.
    im not worried about getting fired or feel the need to protect my job but i just dont want it to be awkward. yea ive had co-workers reject me but i had to ignore them because they just kept seeking attention and thats not cool.
    this girl just completely closed her legs with me. its like asking her to get a drink changed the entire dynamic. That night I seen it and so i tried talking to her as we were leaving and we did chat a small bit and her body language did change to the end of the chat she was facing in front of me, removed her mask and was fixing her hair and **** so yes she did feel more comfortable.

    today she was friendly and professional ...its strange but she never has called me by my nickname again and is calling me by my real name now and no one does that.....her body language is still weird around me. maybe im over thinking this, i dunno.
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  7. #7
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    Dude you are Fkn weird. You’re the creepy guy at the office who couldn’t see or take a no if your job life or mother’s life depended on it and I wrote it “no fuk off” on a chalk board for you. Seriously leave her alone. That’s not how you “pull” woman you creep




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    Originally Posted by Olympia2018 View Post
    Dude you are Fkn weird. You’re the creepy guy at the office who couldn’t see or take a no if your job life or mother’s life depended on it and I wrote it “no fuk off” on a chalk board for you. Seriously leave her alone. That’s not how you “pull” woman you creep




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  9. #9
    Registered User user3657's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Imnew1 View Post
    Leave her alone. You did nothing wrong. If she just wanted attention from guys post divorce to feel better about herself, but wasn't into you, and is now creeped out that her coworker likes her well then whatever. Quit talking to her and keep it casual and friendly when she does. Don't get fired, or make it any more awkward. Zero reason of trying to figure out what's going on in her head vs protecting your job. You never can be too safe with people you don't really know very much outside of a standard work environment.
    Originally Posted by Olympia2018 View Post
    Dude you are Fkn weird. You’re the creepy guy at the office who couldn’t see or take a no if your job life or mother’s life depended on it and I wrote it “no fuk off” on a chalk board for you. Seriously leave her alone. That’s not how you “pull” woman you creep




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    i never approached her before. she came up 110% of the times. ill leave her alone, i just dont want it to be awkward now because it is. im just going to be friendly and cordial. what exactly do i do if she starts coming up and talking again? I dont want to give up my time for free but i dont want to be rude in the workplace and burn a bridge either...
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    Originally Posted by user3657 View Post
    i never approached her before. she came up 110% of the times. ill leave her alone, i just dont want it to be awkward now because it is. im just going to be friendly and cordial. what exactly do i do if she starts coming up and talking again? I dont want to give up my time for free but i dont want to be rude in the workplace and burn a bridge either...
    Let her lead. If she comes up and starts talking again then you talk back lol.

    You don't want to get fired on top of burning a bridge!
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  11. #11
    Aesthetics Black Belt 🥋 exyl's Avatar
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    Your timing is off. She’s still reeling from the divorce

    wait as long as necessary and then try again— from the info I have, I would say enough time needs to go by that both of you forget that you asked her for drinks

    So yeah...forget you asked her out and try again later

    edit: read the rest of your replies in this thread, and you gotta consider the possibility that she isn’t interested. Not now. Maybe not ever. She went through a divorce recently though...

    All ya did was ask her for a drink... friends can get drinks too. Just don’t overthink this because you’re putting out all these nervous cringe vibes and it’s making her anxious I’m sure. She can tell dude. Stop being a phaggot and the situation will fix itself. DFS
    Last edited by exyl; 01-19-2021 at 10:07 AM.
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    Registered User user3657's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by DustinTheHuss View Post
    Let her lead. If she comes up and starts talking again then you talk back lol.

    You don't want to get fired on top of burning a bridge!
    lol i dont think its like that, i hope i dont get fired! nothing was ever inappropriate or nothing out of the norm. actually she was inappropriate, she is a supervisor(not mine) and one time shes over talking to me and her staff calls her and she ducks down below the desks when she answers her phone to make sure no one sees her. pretty ****in stupid lol.

    what i mean is i dont want her talking to me. she rejected me cool, lets be cordial but no dont ****ing come and sit and talk to me. im not going to invest more of my time on you. **** that. is that rude??
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  13. #13
    Aesthetics Black Belt 🥋 exyl's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by user3657 View Post
    lol i dont think its like that, i hope i dont get fired! nothing was ever inappropriate or nothing out of the norm. actually she was inappropriate, she is a supervisor(not mine) and one time shes over talking to me and her staff calls her and she ducks down below the desks when she answers her phone to make sure no one sees her. pretty ****in stupid lol.

    what i mean is i dont want her talking to me. she rejected me cool, lets be cordial but no dont ****ing come and sit and talk to me. im not going to invest more of my time on you. **** that. is that rude??
    Why are you being a bitch?

    You asked her out to drinks, she said no. You don’t even know why. You’re sitting there brooding over it “I’m not talking to her anymore >

    That’s phaggot chit man, that’s some skinny glasses wearing liberal soy behavior

    And you know what... looks like you’re the one acting different. She’s probably reacting to that, acting more professional, feeling less comfortable.
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    Aesthetics Black Belt 🥋 exyl's Avatar
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    Remember OP

    It’s awkward if you make it awkward—It’s not weird unless you make it weird.

    Go back to how it was before

    Forget you asked her, your timing was off

    You asked her for drinks
    She said no

    Nothing more...and nothing less

    That’s a low-grade rejection, shouldn’t even put a dent in your armor srs
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    Registered User user3657's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by exyl View Post
    Why are you being a bitch?

    You asked her out to drinks, she said no. You don’t even know why. You’re sitting there brooding over it “I’m not talking to her anymore >

    That’s phaggot chit man, that’s some skinny glasses wearing liberal soy behavior

    And you know what... looks like you’re the one acting different. She’s probably reacting to that, acting more professional, feeling less comfortable.
    thanks bro. i think the best thing to do is cool off about it. im just going to froget it even happened like the post above
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    Registered User user3657's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by exyl View Post
    Remember OP

    It’s awkward if you make it awkward—It’s not weird unless you make it weird.

    Go back to how it was before

    Forget you asked her, your timing was off

    You asked her for drinks
    She said no

    Nothing more...and nothing less

    That’s a low-grade rejection, shouldn’t even put a dent in your armor srs
    very powerful.
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    Agreed with exyl.

    Sounds like it was too soon and she was only looking for attention at this phase of her divorce.

    Act like nothing happened and if you're able to do so and build your rapport with her to where it was before (or better) she'll respect/like you even more which should benefit you in the future (if not with her then with your reputation in general).
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    Big no-no for workplace romance.
    Lulz.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Agreed with exyl.

    Sounds like it was too soon and she was only looking for attention at this phase of her divorce.

    Act like nothing happened and if you're able to do so and build your rapport with her to where it was before (or better) she'll respect/like you even more which should benefit you in the future (if not with her then with your reputation in general).
    okay so update..things are back to normal. Not sure she is just being nice or is wanting me to ask her again..I was having a bad day and I guess she could tell and she came up and mentioned she was having a bad day etc etc and hopes tomorrow turns out better for me..then runs away? That same day I seen her talking to another guy and she seen that I noticed and she runs away from him. Dude had whiplash from wondering wtf just happened. This can go either way because if a girl shows interest in me I do things like these so I dont lead her on or hurt her. The confusing part is the other night she says shes starting her car if she wants me to start mine to warm it up. Then on the way out she talks about how she has a small fridge and no room for her beer and she has to keep it outside. was that room to ask her out again or is she just having fun with me?
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    Originally Posted by user3657 View Post
    okay so update..things are back to normal. Not sure she is just being nice or is wanting me to ask her again..I was having a bad day and I guess she could tell and she came up and mentioned she was having a bad day etc etc and hopes tomorrow turns out better for me..then runs away? That same day I seen her talking to another guy and she seen that I noticed and she runs away from him. Dude had whiplash from wondering wtf just happened. This can go either way because if a girl shows interest in me I do things like these so I dont lead her on or hurt her. The confusing part is the other night she says shes starting her car if she wants me to start mine to warm it up. Then on the way out she talks about how she has a small fridge and no room for her beer and she has to keep it outside. was that room to ask her out again or is she just having fun with me?
    I'd just stop wondering and get on with my job duties. You already tried once, more than enough. If it were not a job setting, maybe you could try again, but don't go out of your way to sh*x where you eat. If she gives you some obvious signs - obvious as in starts bringing you food, saying suggestive things including asking you out, then go ahead.
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    Originally Posted by Ninshark View Post
    I'd just stop wondering and get on with my job duties. You already tried once, more than enough. If it were not a job setting, maybe you could try again, but don't go out of your way to sh*x where you eat. If she gives you some obvious signs - obvious as in starts bringing you food, saying suggestive things including asking you out, then go ahead.
    I had to think about this...I have been doing my job duties and not approaching her...the only thing left to do is literally ignore her and run from her. I don't seek her. But I do like talking to her when she comes up. She's down to earth and chill.
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    Registered User cannon300's Avatar
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    That’s the risk you take when you ask a coworker out, if you get rejected it just makes work awkward as fuk. I’ve been there but I learned my lesson never chit where you eat. Unless the girl makes the first move I.e. asks you out it’s not worth it, and even then it’s probably not a good idea. Don’t intentionally ignore her because she’ll see you as a butthurt phaggot but just be indifferent and don’t give her any more attention than is required in a professional capacity.
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    Registered User Ninshark's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by user3657 View Post
    I had to think about this...I have been doing my job duties and not approaching her...the only thing left to do is literally ignore her and run from her. I don't seek her. But I do like talking to her when she comes up. She's down to earth and chill.
    I didn't say you shouldn't talk to her or continue being friendly with her, but don't go seek her out just to flirt. if she wants to talk, that's cool, do it.
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    back to single life again
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