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  1. #1
    Registered User UKinFR's Avatar
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    Compliments, random hugging and being called a player?

    First time we were both drunk and she gave me this long hug and rested her head on my shoulder. All I remember is that I was teasing her before she hugged me.

    Second time, we weren't drunk. We were just talking, I was cleaning dishes and she sideway hugged me and rested her head on my shoulder. I should have pulled her closer, but stupidly I didn't really react.

    Last night she asked me "I haven't seen you all day, why didn't you come and see me? I was at (best friend)'s all day".

    I just replied "You could've just come knock on my door if you miss me that much"

    Are these IOIs at all?

    Thing is the 3rd day she told me she "didn't want to get attached"?

    Then one day she's told me that I only talk to girls in my native girls to pick them up?
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  2. #2
    Registered User UKinFR's Avatar
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    bump srs
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  3. #3
    Registered User MirinCanadian99's Avatar
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    Sounds like a catch. You should definitely pursue her. Not srs. She's acting like a normal girl who you date by being touchy but at the same time doesn't wanna get attached. She's most likely just laying for a quick bang or something casual. However, she is not your average "normal" girl.
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  4. #4
    Registered User UKinFR's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    Sounds like a catch. You should definitely pursue her. Not srs. She's acting like a normal girl who you date by being touchy but at the same time doesn't wanna get attached. She's most likely just laying for a quick bang or something casual. However, she is not your average "normal" girl.
    I'm down for something casual too.

    What do you mean she's "not your average normal girl"?
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  5. #5
    Registered User MirinCanadian99's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UKinFR View Post
    I'm down for something casual too.

    What do you mean she's "not your average normal girl"?
    I mean that the average normal girl doesn't go around hugging and laying their head on the shoulders of dudes they aren't in a relationship with or at least dating. However, maybe I am overthinking and she is trying to give you signs of interest. Only way to figure out is by asking her what she's looking to get out of this whole arrangement. You can't expect us to come to a healthy and educated conclusion with such little information. How long have you been seeing her? Is she always like this? What does she mean by not get attached? Is she out of a relationship? If that's the case, you should tread carefully.
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  6. #6
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UKinFR View Post

    Are these IOIs at all?

    Thing is the 3rd day she told me she "didn't want to get attached"?
    Of course they are IOI's.

    I'm confused. Have you hooked up?
    In what context was she saying she doesn't want to get attached?

    How old are you and how old is she?
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  7. #7
    Registered User UKinFR's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    I mean that the average normal girl doesn't go around hugging and laying their head on the shoulders of dudes they aren't in a relationship with or at least dating. However, maybe I am overthinking and she is trying to give you signs of interest. Only way to figure out is by asking her what she's looking to get out of this whole arrangement. You can't expect us to come to a healthy and educated conclusion with such little information. How long have you been seeing her? Is she always like this? What does she mean by not get attached? Is she out of a relationship? If that's the case, you should tread carefully.
    We met like a couple weeks or so ago, she's a new flatmate. I wouldn't say she's like this all the time, but she's been like this since the 3rd night she was here, so when she told me she doesn't want to get attached. I played it cool from there and that's when the random hugging started.

    Maybe she has an attachment disorder or maybe she's been badly hurt in the past, I didn't ask her why. Maybe I should have, but it didn't seem right to insist.

    No idea about her past to be honest.
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  8. #8
    Registered User UKinFR's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Of course they are IOI's.

    I'm confused. Have you hooked up?
    In what context was she saying she doesn't want to get attached?

    How old are you and how old is she?
    So I'm 26 and she's 24.

    I told her I fancied her on the 3rd night, and that's when she told me she "didn't want to get attached", so I thought that's OK, she's probably telling me that because she has no feels... but now I'm second guessing, especially if you guys think they are IOIs...
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  9. #9
    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UKinFR View Post
    So I'm 26 and she's 24.

    I told her I fancied her on the 3rd night, and that's when she told me she "didn't want to get attached", so I thought that's OK, she's probably telling me that because she has no feels... but now I'm second guessing, especially if you guys think they are IOIs...
    It's most likely a way to protect herself. She doesn't want to get pumped and dumped.
    She wants to know that if something physical is gonna happen then you're going to give legit dating a shot or at the very least you are going to communicate clearly about your intentions/feelings.
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  11. #11
    Registered User MirinCanadian99's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by UKinFR View Post
    We met like a couple weeks or so ago, she's a new flatmate. I wouldn't say she's like this all the time, but she's been like this since the 3rd night she was here, so when she told me she doesn't want to get attached. I played it cool from there and that's when the random hugging started.

    Maybe she has an attachment disorder or maybe she's been badly hurt in the past, I didn't ask her why. Maybe I should have, but it didn't seem right to insist.

    No idea about her past to be honest.
    You should definitely try asking her what she's looking for exactly. If she says she's not looking for anything and you're making stuff up, you should probably tell her to stop being so touchy because you're reading them as signs of her being interested. However, it seems like she's trying to slowly inch her way into a sort of hookup arrangement. If that's not case, stay clear of her because she might be cray cray.
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  12. #12
    Registered User UKinFR's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by MirinCanadian99 View Post
    You should definitely try asking her what she's looking for exactly. If she says she's not looking for anything and you're making stuff up, you should probably tell her to stop being so touchy because you're reading them as signs of her being interested. However, it seems like she's trying to slowly inch her way into a sort of hookup arrangement. If that's not case, stay clear of her because she might be cray cray.
    What do you mean I'm "making stuff up"?

    I don't think there's any real point asking her what she's looking for, if it's just too hook up, so be it

    She's not being congruent: Telling me she doesn't want to be attached (low interest), but then showing strong IOIs -- Maybe SkinnyFat88 is right in that regard

    Maybe you're right that she just wants to hook up, which can only be fun!
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  13. #13
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    You shouldn't be getting involved with a flatmate.
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