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  1. #1
    Registered User TheEquestrian's Avatar
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    Dealing with Depression

    How do you find the motivation to start, when all you want to do is curl up in bed and stare at the wall? And yes, I am currently taking an antidepressant.
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  2. #2
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    Learn positive thoughts
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    Registered User mgd24601's Avatar
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    Hey, I'm a psychologist, so this one's for me. I'll tell you what I tell most people when asking about depression:

    The first step, though perhaps not the last step, in overcoming depression is listing what you need. Right on a sheet of paper. That's the cause of depression, an unmet need, and oftentimes they've been unmet for such a long time we come to accept them as such.

    Then take your list of needs and talk about them with at least one other person as though you're taking responsibility for them.

    Simply getting the unmet needs off your chest in a mature way in the context of another human face gives us the emotional fluidity to figure out what to do next.

    Start writing and start talking...
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    Tough I'm not a psychologist nor certified to give any clinical advise I can tell you that among hundreds of other solutions I've tried what mgd24601 suggest. Everything fine in theory but if after these mature discussions you cannot get to any solution that will satisfy you then the there is going to be an added weight to your depression unless you take action. So the plan is not only to discuss about what bothers you but also what to do after that. Discussion is only half of the solution to the equation and it is not long lasting.

    Originally Posted by mgd24601 View Post
    Hey, I'm a psychologist, so this one's for me. I'll tell you what I tell most people when asking about depression:

    The first step, though perhaps not the last step, in overcoming depression is listing what you need. Right on a sheet of paper. That's the cause of depression, an unmet need, and oftentimes they've been unmet for such a long time we come to accept them as such.

    Then take your list of needs and talk about them with at least one other person as though you're taking responsibility for them.

    Simply getting the unmet needs off your chest in a mature way in the context of another human face gives us the emotional fluidity to figure out what to do next.

    Start writing and start talking...
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  5. #5
    Registered User giallo's Avatar
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    At some point you have to realize you're stronger than the negativity you feel. I'm no psychologist, but I've dealt with depression all my life. Since I started exercising on a consistent basis about 3 years ago I've been a much happier more well rounded person. In my personal experience, the motivation comes from not looking at today's flaws but from the sense of wonder evoked by the questions, 'what will I be capable of in a day, a week, a month, or a year from today?' and 'How different will I look in those days and weeks to come compared to right now?'

    For me, exercises has been a god send. My lows have evened out into dips instead of chasms. Sadness and unhappiness were always very visceral, real, understandable feelings for me whereas happiness felt like such a foreign concept that it had always been really very difficult for me to know when I was actually happy. Thankfully that's been slowly changing. What helped me also was that I went into this with no expectations for how I wanted to look. I just started the journey and found that the simple act of pushing myself to exhaustion two or three times a week oddly made me happier. That feels like a counter intuitive notion but then so does harboring a deep sense of self loathing. It's wild how the brain works... So I did metric tons of research and built a workout routine based off of trial and error, finding what my body responded to and what it didn't. I didn't need to reinvent the wheel, but I worked out at home until just a few months ago and I didn't discover body space until I was a year into my personal fitness journey. There are a tremendous amount of choices here for achieving what you want, whatever your goal may be.

    I'd say take your goal, be it weight loss or muscle gain or both, and make it a macro goal. Make it a goal that you know is going to take a reasonable amount of time to achieve. If it's not something that you need to do immediately, you don't feel bad about not achieving it right away. You get the chance to learn, take things slow, test the waters, and let a lifestyle change happen organically instead of forcing it on yourself. Then take small goals and make them a weekly or monthly thing. For example, I want to be 170lbs and 7-8% bf. That may take me 2-3 years or longer to achieve. In the short term - while I work on that macro goal - I can work on a more immediate, manageable goal. I want to squat 185lbs for 5 reps and set a new 5 rep max personal record. This week or next I am getting those 5 reps. And in a week or two after that my goal is 190lbs for 5 reps.

    Also, don't do it for anyone other than yourself. That's a big thing too. Make it about you because your body is a very personal thing. It belongs to you and nobody else. It only matters what you think of yourself. Love your body, it's the only one you get. Embrace your flaws but also embrace the idea that change is entirely possible =)

    Every journey begins with a step. All you have to do to get started is put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you'll have traveled a great distance.
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  6. #6
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    start by doing small things.

    clean your room, clean after yourself. those small wins will motivate you to get more wins that day. go for a run or get some sunlight. stop rotting in your room
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  7. #7
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    Depression suffering pain is normal. Theyll make you stronger.



    https://youtu.be/eCC3-JI8cKk
    Last edited by Travis99; 04-27-2018 at 08:44 AM.
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  8. #8
    Registered User rufretic's Avatar
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    Force yourself to the gym. It will suck the first few times, you'll probably get a terrible workout but go again the next day and then again the next. Before you know it you start feeling better and better. The hardest part is getting started, it sucks but if you push through, you will get better, you just have to force yourself even though you don't feel like it.
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  9. #9
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    Eat lots of vegetqbles and fruit.
    Avoid sugar, fast carbs, processed food.
    Socialize, be in nature.
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  10. #10
    Registered User mgd24601's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by jb_alphamale View Post
    So the plan is not only to discuss about what bothers you but also what to do after that. Discussion is only half of the solution to the equation and it is not long lasting.
    Agreed. That's why I say start with writing and talking. Behavior modification---consistent behavior modification---is the most effective but a lot of people cannot even get there. The trick is to bridge this gap, which is best done at first through writing and talking.
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    Just try to avoid getting caught in the spiral (when **** gets bad and your attitude goes down with it ie. gaining fat causes insecurity and makes you give up on lifting because you get more depressed).

    I was on Zoloft for 6 years and officially replaced it with healthy eating, working out, and using my two pets as ESA's. It is possible and, trust me, it takes a patience. Don't give up and when you have a negative thought, try to replace it with a positive one and eventually you can begin to rewire your brain to think positively. Google "thought stopping"

    (Currently getting my Masters in Counseling)
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  12. #12
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    I've faught severe depression in the past. I had to take a good look at myself and become willing to change. Willingness being, doing things even though they are uncomfortable and I don't want to do it... I had to clear out my deepest darkest memories with someone I trusted. I had to honestly look at my alcohol and drug use. I went to group therapy, being around people I could actually relate with. And what helped me the most, is I have to be inservice for somebody. I need to be helping other people in order to help myself. That has been the solution. Somewhere along all that balance came into my life.
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  13. #13
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    Hey man,

    I used to be depressed before, I was overweight and people bullied me for it all the time. When enough was enough I used that pain making sure no one would ever bully me for being overweight.

    Next time the same people saw me again after my weight loss period it was like giving them the finger, even though I didn't say anything.

    Every time I go to the gym, I always visualize my goal when things get though. It makes me focused on the right things, you can try it too but if it doesn't work find something that's worth the fighting for and strive for it. For me it was being able to revenge all those who let me down with my personal success.
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  14. #14
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    First, you'll have to believe that you can do it. If that's hard for you, look at the journey and stories of others who did it. Whatever your goal is in bodybuilding, I'm sure someone has reached that goal from where you are now. Looking at their progress and success will make you believe that you can also do it. Once you believe, get on a good program that'll help you reach your goal. When it becomes too hard and impossible, just remember that someone has done it before and you can also do it. If no one has done it before, believe you'll be the first. Cheers!
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  15. #15
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    Originally Posted by HanesTshirtBrah View Post
    start by doing small things.

    clean your room, clean after yourself. those small wins will motivate you to get more wins that day. go for a run or get some sunlight. stop rotting in your room
    This is really good advice.
    OP, I know where you are coming from, I am a veteran dealing with PTSD, with that is depression, social anxiety, paranoia, etc.
    It really is debilitating sometimes when you do not want to get out of bed, but the small tasks are like small victories.

    It was simple, it would be cleaning up while cooking or immediately after, having a nice clean kitchen to start the next day was always refreshing. I started to think, If I don't do this stuff, who will?

    My mental health has been much better since working out and feeling better about myself overall, I still have a long road but i've had people see me after a few weeks and notice i'm looking slimmer, that helps with the mindset!

    Just keep digging, this forum is really supportive and just know, you are not on this journey alone...we may be some usernames on a message board, but there are hundreds if not thousands on here going through the same battle you are.

    Good luck!
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  16. #16
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    Try by attenuating minor problems. I'd say dealing with your problems in a chronological order.

    tbh.. if you have a good amount of friends; you really should talk to them about your personal issues, as they can be there for you. Besides.. "A friend in need is a friend indeed".

    okay... that last quote was pure cringe
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  17. #17
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    Medication and talk therapy, preferably Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.

    Depression is brutal as it can take all of your energy just to brush your teeth. Exercise does help depression, so it helps to have a therapist keep you accountable to do reasonable exercise (overexercising can just backtrack you).
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  18. #18
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    Originally Posted by giallo View Post
    At some point you have to realize you're stronger than the negativity you feel. I'm no psychologist, but I've dealt with depression all my life. Since I started exercising on a consistent basis about 3 years ago I've been a much happier more well rounded person. In my personal experience, the motivation comes from not looking at today's flaws but from the sense of wonder evoked by the questions, 'what will I be capable of in a day, a week, a month, or a year from today?' and 'How different will I look in those days and weeks to come compared to right now?'

    For me, exercises has been a god send. My lows have evened out into dips instead of chasms. Sadness and unhappiness were always very visceral, real, understandable feelings for me whereas happiness felt like such a foreign concept that it had always been really very difficult for me to know when I was actually happy. Thankfully that's been slowly changing. What helped me also was that I went into this with no expectations for how I wanted to look. I just started the journey and found that the simple act of pushing myself to exhaustion two or three times a week oddly made me happier. That feels like a counter intuitive notion but then so does harboring a deep sense of self loathing. It's wild how the brain works... So I did metric tons of research and built a workout routine based off of trial and error, finding what my body responded to and what it didn't. I didn't need to reinvent the wheel, but I worked out at home until just a few months ago and I didn't discover body space until I was a year into my personal fitness journey. There are a tremendous amount of choices here for achieving what you want, whatever your goal may be.

    I'd say take your goal, be it weight loss or muscle gain or both, and make it a macro goal. Make it a goal that you know is going to take a reasonable amount of time to achieve. If it's not something that you need to do immediately, you don't feel bad about not achieving it right away. You get the chance to learn, take things slow, test the waters, and let a lifestyle change happen organically instead of forcing it on yourself. Then take small goals and make them a weekly or monthly thing. For example, I want to be 170lbs and 7-8% bf. That may take me 2-3 years or longer to achieve. In the short term - while I work on that macro goal - I can work on a more immediate, manageable goal. I want to squat 185lbs for 5 reps and set a new 5 rep max personal record. This week or next I am getting those 5 reps. And in a week or two after that my goal is 190lbs for 5 reps.

    Also, don't do it for anyone other than yourself. That's a big thing too. Make it about you because your body is a very personal thing. It belongs to you and nobody else. It only matters what you think of yourself. Love your body, it's the only one you get. Embrace your flaws but also embrace the idea that change is entirely possible =)

    Every journey begins with a step. All you have to do to get started is put one foot in front of the other and before you know it you'll have traveled a great distance.
    I am currently experiencing the same problems as OP, and joined this website in hopes of beginning to get my life back on track. Needless to say this post by you helped a lot, thanks
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  19. #19
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    1. Your medication clearly isn’t working or hasn’t kicked in yet if you’ve only been on it a short time. Keep in contact with doctor.

    2. Yes make a plan for future but also make a schedule for now and stick to it, no matter how difficult, get the minimum done. If you spend each day accomplishing nothing the depression gets worse.

    3. Distraction when the thoughts get overwhelming. Books, video games, TV shows, all are acceptable for distraction as long as you’re getting the minimum done each day.

    4. Therapy, seriously. Medication is often only the first step in recovery.

    5. Sleep. Perhaps should have been number 1 as it’s the most important.
    Stick to a sleep schedule. 8 hours each night, no more no less. If you don’t get 8 hours, get up anyway. You’re body WILL make itself do it eventually. No phones in bed, bed is for sleeping, sex and making a fort.

    6. Exercise. Duh. Should be on the schedule for each week at least 4 times a week.
    Bench: 572lbs (https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=9RrAfn0TfkY&feature=youtu.be)
    Squat: 924lbs (https://youtu.be/hnvJ0SdCYKw)
    Deadlift: 924lbs (https://youtu.be/KDS6TQ_--eM)
    Bent Over Row: 485lbs (https://youtu.be/dc-t9k3f208)
    Over Head Press: 405lbs (https://youtu.be/h3o4jOBa8IM)
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  20. #20
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    Hi there! There are many ways on how to deal with depression, but the choice is really up to you; whether to get up and move forward or to wallow in self-defeat for the rest of your life. What I am trying to say is, everyone goes through bouts of depression at some point in their lives, and some are able to overcome it. You can, if you have the will to do it. And yes, exercising can make a lot of difference!
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  21. #21
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    I understand this thread has a bit of age (though not zombified yet), but I didn't see something mentioned which is important. Being dehydrated can cause you problems. I'm sure everyone here is aware how important staying hydrated is, but if you're going through a rough patch, you may lose track.
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    amzing info
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    the most difficult is to start. If you take the first step, then every next one will be much easier. you yourself have to motivate yourself. find a destination and go to it
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    Cardio, Johanniskraut (don't know english name) And if there is something you don't do anymore what u used to do that was fun do it.
    But the endgame of depression mainly is about reprogramming your brain into a "happier" mode.
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    I just push myself to go out running in the morning
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    Eat to keep your strength up
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    eat well and listen to good music
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    There are two types of pains, one that hurts you and the other that changes you.
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    Thanks

    Hello, I want to add to this post, that everything passes, the only thing which is needed is time. Personally speaking, I had a depression when I was at college, because of my study load. It was hard for me also to deal with it, luckily my friends supported me, emotionally and physically, they told me about the source qualityessay.com which might help at the right moment.
    Find a lot of interesting tips at https://qualityessay.com
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    Originally Posted by mgd24601 View Post
    Hey, I'm a psychologist, so this one's for me. I'll tell you what I tell most people when asking about depression:

    The first step, though perhaps not the last step, in overcoming depression is listing what you need. Right on a sheet of paper. That's the cause of depression, an unmet need, and oftentimes they've been unmet for such a long time we come to accept them as such.

    Then take your list of needs and talk about them with at least one other person as though you're taking responsibility for them.

    Simply getting the unmet needs off your chest in a mature way in the context of another human face gives us the emotional fluidity to figure out what to do next.

    Start writing and start talking...
    Good point. I need to write more, this is helpful. I never really think about my 'unmet needs'.
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