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  1. #1
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Teen High School Rants Thread

    rants & stories about your high school/parents, whether its the food or stupid rules, lets hear them!
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  2. #2
    ⎠⎠ Delusional's Avatar
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    My mom wont let me eat that much.

    Yesterday I was eating lean chicken breast and she said it had to be the size of the palm of my hand. Wtf is that ****
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  3. #3
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by 0skr View Post
    My mom wont let me eat that much.

    Yesterday I was eating lean chicken breast and she said it had to be the size of the palm of my hand. Wtf is that ****
    mom hates buying me tuna cuz she wont stop bothering me about MSG's and stuff ( i need a job badly, i know)
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  4. #4
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    bump...come on lets hear some rants!
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  5. #5
    Twig 45poundbench's Avatar
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    well im not in high school anymore but.. my dad used to take my gym membership away from me monday wednesday and friday to make sure im not wokring out to much. little did he know i was on a first name basis with everyone in the gym(all employees i mean) and i explained to them my situation so they let me in monday wednesday and friday without membership.. haha
    I asked for the mod neg because I didn't feel I had earned my reps. I would appreciate it if you only repped me because my posts are helpful/insightful.
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  6. #6
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    "High school" was a while ago for me now, and although I had some bad times there (one year having the worst grades in the ENTIRE SCHOOL... That was a ****ty time), all my memories seem to be of the good times and the friends I made.

    One of my favorite memories was getting permanently kicked out of Religious Studies class (not a super exciting story, but I've got some of those. Broken bones from jumping off balconies. Pit fights in common rooms. the toilet licking incident. The infamous "fruit locker". I will post those on request). Originally I was a straight A student in R.S. and I enjoyed learning about the world religions; interesting cultural topic. Then the teacher we had left and was replaced with a psycho-bitch filled with hatred for... Well... Most everything. She once got reported for telling a class of 13 year olds to "**** off", but didn't get in trouble with it because the person investigating it trusted her word more than the word of the entire class... Anyway, I digress: I was in class once, she told a joke, nobody laughed. I told a joke, class laughs. She kicks me out and tells me I'll never be coming back again. I thought this was a pretty lame, particularly as a friend of mine didn't get in as much trouble for spending an entire lesson shouting "SATAN!" at her, but the whole situation ended up with every single person in the class congratulating me, asking me how they could be permanently removed from class too, and actually shaking my hand... Surreal times.

    Anyhoo: awesome stories to follow if necessary.
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  7. #7
    Registered User RaisinBran's Avatar
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    in on whiny crybaby bitch thread
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  8. #8
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zipwolf View Post
    "High school" was a while ago for me now, and although I had some bad times there (one year having the worst grades in the ENTIRE SCHOOL... That was a ****ty time), all my memories seem to be of the good times and the friends I made.

    One of my favorite memories was getting permanently kicked out of Religious Studies class (not a super exciting story, but I've got some of those. Broken bones from jumping off balconies. Pit fights in common rooms. the toilet licking incident. The infamous "fruit locker". I will post those on request). Originally I was a straight A student in R.S. and I enjoyed learning about the world religions; interesting cultural topic. Then the teacher we had left and was replaced with a psycho-bitch filled with hatred for... Well... Most everything. She once got reported for telling a class of 13 year olds to "**** off", but didn't get in trouble with it because the person investigating it trusted her word more than the word of the entire class... Anyway, I digress: I was in class once, she told a joke, nobody laughed. I told a joke, class laughs. She kicks me out and tells me I'll never be coming back again. I thought this was a pretty lame, particularly as a friend of mine didn't get in as much trouble for spending an entire lesson shouting "SATAN!" at her, but the whole situation ended up with every single person in the class congratulating me, asking me how they could be permanently removed from class too, and actually shaking my hand... Surreal times.

    Anyhoo: awesome stories to follow if necessary.
    that is a phycho-bitch... more more plz
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  9. #9
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by RaisinBran View Post
    in on whiny crybaby bitch thread
    dont you mean in on potentially epic rant thread?
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  10. #10
    gettin ma cut on bro rozzr's Avatar
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    grownups... they cant tell you what to do if they're dead...


    jus sayin...
    -///M-
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  11. #11
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    no ****ing water allowed in class
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  12. #12
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by avenged7x4lyfe View Post
    no ****ing water allowed in class
    wow, why'd they make that rule?
    that old vodka trick?
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  13. #13
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    i ****in hate following my meal plan when theres vacation all i hear is your EATING AGAIN? uh yea.
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  14. #14
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    I hate college applications.
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  15. #15
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by strongaaron15 View Post
    that is a phycho-bitch... more more plz
    Short story now while I collect my thoughts for some of the larger ones:

    During my years at the school I had a chemistry teacher who seemed to be in the middle of a very permanent mid-life crisis. His voice was monotonous and never showed any emotion other than "anhedonic", and he was possibly the least effective teacher I have ever had the pleasure of being taught by. (Honestly a genuinely nice guy though, even told me where the school ordered its chemicals from! Brilliant!)

    My favorite memories of him include:

    First day back from half term break I think in our third year at the school, he arrives 20 minutes late for a forty five minute lesson, spends the next fifteen minutes sorting out papers and doing absolutely nothing, then spends the next, and final, ten minutes of the lesson telling us that we're incredibly behind the other classes in the year and that its all our fault that we weren't doing the work fast enough. (This sort of scenario happened incredibly often, except usually without arriving twenty minutes late).

    During an important test, he comes up to a desk of people who aren't meant to be talking or doing anything but the test at hand and starts singing, very slowly, "The wheels on the bus go round and round... round and round... round and round.... The wheels on the bus go round and round... all... day... long..." for no apparent reason.

    On several occasions the class ended up with assortments of chemicals being left out that clearly were not meant to be. Occasionally people would piss about on purpose and pour acid and alkaline on stuff that acid and alkaline really should NOT be poured on, creating huge fizzing messes on tables. His reaction tended to be *facepalm.... Ignore it for the rest of the lesson...* or *do nothing at all*. The best memory I have of the odd chemical scenario, however, is when we were doing an experiment with Bunsen burners, and we were handed little heating trays that apparently hadn't had the former chemicals cleaned up out of them. Our chemicals were added to it, and the burners turned on. About twenty seconds later in one of the burners, a massive, black, hot toxic smelling sludge was growing and growing and growing in one of the trays. His reaction was to stare at it for a good few minutes before going "I don't know what that is... you should probably stop".

    Best memory of all, however, was not in a chemistry lesson:

    We had a french lesson in the french block (big school, several buildings) one day with the aforementioned chemistry teacher as a substitute. As was expected from him, he didn't show up on time, so after a good ten minutes the entire class decided that revenge was in order. There were instructions on the board for what he was supposed to have us do in the lesson, those were rubbed off. All the chairs and tables were moved to one side of the room, not visible from the door. All the lights were turned off and a sign was posted on the door saying "Closed for painting" and the door was locked. On the 20th minute of our double period (long over an hour lesson) he finally showed up, looked in, knocked, looked in, and wondered off. As soon as someone saw him walking from the building we IMMEDIATELY put the writing back on the board, moved all the desks back, turned on the light, propped the door open, got all of our work out and started dilligently working at what were supposed to be doing.

    About ten minutes later we hear the door to the building open and he comes back up the stairs with the vice principal. They walk in the room and he turns to the VP, face like a puppy who's just been kicked, "It wasn't like this before!" VP asks us "Were you all here earlier?" "Of course we were" etc. etc. etc. etc. Him: "It honestly wasn't... All the lights were off, it said it was closed for painting". The VP laughed at him before turning to us and saying "You do all understand you all have detention for this right? It IS very funny, but I have to punish you".


    Ahhh ace times.


    EDIT: Not actually a short story, I remembered more as I was typing.

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  16. #16
    Banned ShayThor1989's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zipwolf View Post
    Short story now while I collect my thoughts for some of the larger ones:

    During my years at the school I had a chemistry teacher who seemed to be in the middle of a very permanent mid-life crisis. His voice was monotonous and never showed any emotion other than "anhedonic", and he was possibly the least effective teacher I have ever had the pleasure of being taught by. (Honestly a genuinely nice guy though, even told me where the school ordered its chemicals from! Brilliant!)

    My favorite memories of him include:

    First day back from half term break I think in our third year at the school, he arrives 20 minutes late for a forty five minute lesson, spends the next fifteen minutes sorting out papers and doing absolutely nothing, then spends the next, and final, ten minutes of the lesson telling us that we're incredibly behind the other classes in the year and that its all our fault that we weren't doing the work fast enough. (This sort of scenario happened incredibly often, except usually without arriving twenty minutes late).

    During an important test, he comes up to a desk of people who aren't meant to be talking or doing anything but the test at hand and starts singing, very slowly, "The wheels on the bus go round and round... round and round... round and round.... The wheels on the bus go round and round... all... day... long..." for no apparent reason.

    On several occasions the class ended up with assortments of chemicals being left out that clearly were not meant to be. Occasionally people would piss about on purpose and pour acid and alkaline on stuff that acid and alkaline really should NOT be poured on, creating huge fizzing messes on tables. His reaction tended to be *facepalm.... Ignore it for the rest of the lesson...* or *do nothing at all*. The best memory I have of the odd chemical scenario, however, is when we were doing an experiment with Bunsen burners, and we were handed little heating trays that apparently hadn't had the former chemicals cleaned up out of them. Our chemicals were added to it, and the burners turned on. About twenty seconds later in one of the burners, a massive, black, hot toxic smelling sludge was growing and growing and growing in one of the trays. His reaction was to stare at it for a good few minutes before going "I don't know what that is... you should probably stop".

    Best memory of all, however, was not in a chemistry lesson:

    We had a french lesson in the french block (big school, several buildings) one day with the aforementioned chemistry teacher as a substitute. As was expected from him, he didn't show up on time, so after a good ten minutes the entire class decided that revenge was in order. There were instructions on the board for what he was supposed to have us do in the lesson, those were rubbed off. All the chairs and tables were moved to one side of the room, not visible from the door. All the lights were turned off and a sign was posted on the door saying "Closed for painting" and the door was locked. On the 20th minute of our double period (long over an hour lesson) he finally showed up, looked in, knocked, looked in, and wondered off. As soon as someone saw him walking from the building we IMMEDIATELY put the writing back on the board, moved all the desks back, turned on the light, propped the door open, got all of our work out and started dilligently working at what were supposed to be doing.

    About ten minutes later we hear the door to the building open and he comes back up the stairs with the vice principal. They walk in the room and he turns to the VP, face like a puppy who's just been kicked, "It wasn't like this before!" VP asks us "Were you all here earlier?" "Of course we were" etc. etc. etc. etc. Him: "It honestly wasn't... All the lights were off, it said it was closed for painting". The VP laughed at him before turning to us and saying "You do all understand you all have detention for this right? It IS very funny, but I have to punish you".


    Ahhh ace times.


    EDIT: Not actually a short story, I remembered more as I was typing.

    Moar on request.
    Need cliffs.
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  17. #17
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ShayThor1989 View Post
    Need cliffs.
    Chemistry teacher: Permanent mid-life crisis. Monotone voice.


    First story cliffs:
    1. Shows up 20 minutes late
    2. Spends 20 minutes shuffling papers
    3. Spends final ten minutes telling us we're not doing any work. Class ends.

    Second story cliffs:
    1. important test
    2. He spends it singing "The wheels on the bus" at students

    Third story cliffs.
    1. Chemicals often left out
    2. Chemicals often get acid and alkaline poured on them.
    3. He does nothing.
    4. Bunsen burner creates massive molten black mass.
    5. He does nothing.

    Fourth story cliffs.
    1. French lesson, he is our susbtitute.
    2. He arrives late
    3. We decide "Need vengeance" so turn off lights, move all stuff, pretend not to be there, put sign on door saying "Closed for painting".
    4. He arrives. Walks off.
    5. We put everything back to normal, get to work.
    6. He comes back with vice principal. VP laughs at him and gives us all detention.
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  18. #18
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by ShayThor1989 View Post
    Need cliffs.
    cliffs:
    1.R
    2.E
    3.A
    4.D
    5. 4 urself its funny
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  19. #19
    More lats... NAO!! Source2006's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zipwolf View Post
    .......

    On several occasions the class ended up with assortments of chemicals being left out that clearly were not meant to be. Occasionally people would piss about on purpose and pour acid and alkaline on stuff that acid and alkaline really should NOT be poured on, creating huge fizzing messes on tables. His reaction tended to be *facepalm.... Ignore it for the rest of the lesson...* or *do nothing at all*. The best memory I have of the odd chemical scenario, however, is when we were doing an experiment with Bunsen burners, and we were handed little heating trays that apparently hadn't had the former chemicals cleaned up out of them. Our chemicals were added to it, and the burners turned on. About twenty seconds later in one of the burners, a massive, black, hot toxic smelling sludge was growing and growing and growing in one of the trays. His reaction was to stare at it for a good few minutes before going "I don't know what that is... you should probably stop".

    ......
    I literally LOL'D
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  20. #20
    Registered User JTringer's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zipwolf View Post
    Chemistry teacher: Permanent mid-life crisis. Monotone voice.


    First story cliffs:
    1. Shows up 20 minutes late
    2. Spends 20 minutes shuffling papers
    3. Spends final ten minutes telling us we're not doing any work. Class ends.

    Second story cliffs:
    1. important test
    2. He spends it singing "The wheels on the bus" at students

    Third story cliffs.
    1. Chemicals often left out
    2. Chemicals often get acid and alkaline poured on them.
    3. He does nothing.
    4. Bunsen burner creates massive molten black mass.
    5. He does nothing.

    Fourth story cliffs.
    1. French lesson, he is our susbtitute.
    2. He arrives late
    3. We decide "Need vengeance" so turn off lights, move all stuff, pretend not to be there, put sign on door saying "Closed for painting".
    4. He arrives. Walks off.
    5. We put everything back to normal, get to work.
    6. He comes back with vice principal. VP laughs at him and gives us all detention.
    Lame that you got detention for last thing, other than that pretty epic*repped
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  21. #21
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by JTringer View Post
    Lame that you got detention for last thing, other than that pretty epic*repped
    Cheers holmes.

    The whole clas got it, so not so bad.

    EDIT: On recharge, shall reciprocate later. Remind me if I forget.
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  22. #22
    Manlet PHOENIX ONpump17's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zipwolf View Post
    Cheers holmes.

    The whole clas got it, so not so bad.

    EDIT: On recharge, shall reciprocate later. Remind me if I forget.
    MOAR!
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  23. #23
    Stand Strong jmt92's Avatar
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    MOAR!!!

    I'll post a couple later
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  24. #24
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by strongaaron15 View Post
    MOAR!
    Ok.

    In GCSE business studies we had, for one year, possibly the worst business studies teacher alive. We got warned by one sixth former that he and a lot of other people in the class were predicted an A* grade before this guy came along and got them all D's. The reason being was said teacher (Arse-cleft chin, bald, green mouldy-looking hair growing from his ears, massive bald head, INCREDIBLY posh British accent, inability to not say NNNNNNNNNNNNN-yeeeees instead of "yes") would get bored of teaching business studies and start trawling off into stories about his life that were all grandiose and incredible, and probably a pack of lies; to paraphrase "And thats when I sold all the plans for rolls royce's new engine to another company and and then flew off in my plane and became queen of thailand for twenty five hundred years" (only the first part of that sentence sounded anything like the stuff he said, but I digress).

    During his lessons a friend of mine and myself used to distract ourselves from his incredibly long tirades by brushing up on our anime porn drawings, but one of our other classmates had nothing to distract himself with so he decided to take an interesting alternate route.

    Said teacher started talking about his life, said student (Alex is his name) gets bored as ****... Leans back in his chair, calm as hell, puts his hands behind his head, relaxed expression, looks at the wall behind the teacher and just shouts as loud as he can "RIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOB!"... The whole class goes silent, the teacher looks at him and goes "WHAT DID YOU SAY?"... Alex, looking cool as a cucumber (blatantly nervous), "I said Rim Job"....

    "Oh thats OK I thought you said Blow Job".

    Class continues

    Epic
    Last edited by Zipwolf; 11-30-2008 at 04:25 PM.
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  25. #25
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    Moar on request <.<
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  26. #26
    beep boop beep Skies's Avatar
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    lmao zip these stories are great, MOAR
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  27. #27
    Werewolf Zipwolf's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Skies View Post
    lmao zip these stories are great, MOAR
    Cheers. Heres hoping they one day become copypasta.


    Alright... This story is actually going to be partially stolen from a friend and is less of a story and more of a collection of epic quotes from one, quite probably certifiably insane, physics teacher of ours

    We had two physics teachers for the majority of my school life, one who was eccentric but mostly normal, and one who was actually completely nuts, looked like an orc, sounded like a higher pitched orc, and occaisonally would come up with amazing gems of senile genius in the middle of lessons (unfortunately I was not in his set, so most of this is from other people... Also, there was a THIRD physics teacher, but we'll talk about her later). Keep in mind that the vast majority of these quotes were not in any particular context and often were blurted out at completely innapropriate times (others were in context, but are still bizarre, see if you can spot the difference!). Also keep in mind his description and the description of his voice in mind as you read through the following list of his quotes as compiled by a classmate (all credit goes to him):

    -Get with it!
    -Plus One!
    -I'm sorry but I won't apologise!
    -Don't play silly buggers with me, or i'll play silly buggers with you!
    -You fool! I'm not being rude!
    -I'm fed up with your face!
    -Draw how you normally draw free falling parachutists!
    -There's a very fine line between whispering and shouting!
    -The temperature outside is about 14 pints.
    -I'm not going to repeat this (x10)
    -If you were a parrot you'd be dead by now!
    -He's fallen off his perch!
    -Best peruvian wave I've seen this year!
    -What have we learned today? That I'm right and other physicists are wrong!
    -Weight watchers should take you to the moon!
    -If you don't want to go on a diet, go to the moon!
    -You there! Increase your amplitude!
    -You don't get an earful of my smelly mouth air!
    -I'm not being sexist, but girls are dumb!
    -Its like talking to sponge pudding!
    -Trust me, you don't understand.
    -I'll lend you a hand grenade or two!
    -Keep focused on the ovens!
    -No sex please!
    -I haven't zipped up my trousers!
    -Let's have a giggle session!
    -It's a hotch potch!
    -I can't afford a bit of A4!
    -You don't want your blood and brains in your boots!
    -You can die and then you can't stand up on jupiter!
    -It's a case of tight trousers!
    -Is there a stupid stop clock out there?
    -Your brains are in your backside!
    -I've got glasses!
    -I'm not going to shout... AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
    -This is not what this is about it's about this, it's not this it's about it's this that this is about!
    -You look like a large garden gnome!
    -It's travelling at the same speed... Only doubled!
    -Why can't we live at the top of the room, not the bottom?
    -You would die, but it would also be unpleasant!
    -If it flew, the sea would look stupid!
    -You! Take off your pants!
    -I'll pay you to say your zero times table!
    -You will be outside grazing!
    -Secret table lifting, eh?
    -Only thirty metres til' the end of the lesson!
    -3rd metre, second, no mile, damn, kilogram, noooo! AAAAAAAAAAAH!
    -I'm having a transverse wave put on my head!
    -If you're five metres away it's nice!
    -Is this a withdrawal lesson?
    -You made a fatal mistake and you're going to die!
    -Juicy signal!
    -If I wanted to be clever I could say your watch has stopped.
    -It's not little, it's big; you can see it's small!
    -Do it with me!
    -If you turn on a light it makes light!
    -I will make you cry!
    -You said no! I heard you say yes!
    -Do it, it's an order!
    -I don't mind interruptions, but I hate them!
    -It didn't have to be that lecture, but it had to!
    -Do you write with your ear!?
    -Write seconds in full, or just as S.
    -We don't measure it in watts, but in watts!
    -WHAT!
    -Are you a ventriloquist's dummy?
    -A layman is not ignorant, he just has absolutely no knowledge
    -You're a little girl!
    -Idiot! He doesn't know!
    -Do I have to swear to get attention? ARSE!
    -If you don't know anything, ask me!
    -It's a conductor, just not a conductor!
    -Why aren't you splatting on the moon!?
    -No body else is being stupid!
    -Are you ill, is there a fair?
    -I can't give you a size 3cm!
    -I'm not hearing!
    -It wasn't that he wasn't paying attention, he just wasn't paying attention.
    -I'm not being funny!
    -Stand up!
    -FIRE!
    -Sorry, it's not my fault, it's my fault.
    -If you don't stop talking you won't be able to talk when talking!
    -Your own personal crater!
    -The, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the!
    -Keep it up!
    -Hard and fast!
    -Why don't we get pulled by the sun?
    -Where we are is... er... erm... I don't know!
    -SORRY!
    -By full I mean completely empty!
    -There's no air!
    -Go and play with a fluffy toy!
    -If you have a stamp you have to stamp on it!
    -Mine only works on Fridays!
    -It's a totally useless machine!
    -If you see someone being bullied, don't help!
    -Either i'm lying or you're lying!
    -You measure frequency with a pitchfork!
    -It's a bit embarrassing to have to pick up a truck!
    -you're always last, no you're not!
    -A squidgy sound!
    -It's only hard!
    -A baby monkey or a tiger would go behind the mirror! (Nobody seems to know what the **** that one is about)
    -Reality is a contradiction!
    -You little girl's blouse!
    -You should practice sitting down!
    -A TRUE CUSHION!

    Courtesy of the most legendary physics teacher in the world, and said classmate.
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  28. #28
    Registered User bshow18's Avatar
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    i used to hate how we were not allowed to have
    piercings
    ink
    cigs (if your 18 then why the hell not)
    & dress code
    ^^^^ stupid **** in Texas

    My parents bug me about doing my school work all the time b.c they never saw me study and id get pissed b.c i would do all my work & hs was freekin easy as hell too.
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  29. #29
    Banned 1111111111111111111111111111's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by bshow18 View Post
    i used to hate how we were not allowed to have
    piercings
    ink
    cigs (if your 18 then why the hell not)
    & dress code
    ^^^^ stupid **** in Texas

    My parents bug me about doing my school work all the time b.c they never saw me study and id get pissed b.c i would do all my work & hs was freekin easy as hell too.
    Your myspace froze my computer...

    negged.
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  30. #30
    Life ftl deadlifts-ftw's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zipwolf View Post
    -I'm not being sexist, but girls are dumb!
    i actually lol'd repped, keep them coming
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