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  1. #1
    Registered User BritishTwit's Avatar
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    Angry Girl I'm Dating Has Ex Boyfriend Coming To Stay..

    Been dating this sloot off Tinder (srs) for the past month. Really like her TBH, shes not like most of the gym bunnies I usually date but she's got red hair, big ol' tiddies and a cute accent (she's Polish). Also a Masters student so she is legit smart, not your standard issue sloot. She said a few weeks ago after I took her out to dinner that she could see us being GF and BF.

    However there's a problem.. her ex bf (a photographer who travels the world apparently) is coming through our city and he wants to stay at her place for a few nights. She swears it's just as "old friends, nothing more" although she admits they were exes. Whenever she mentions him she seems to get a bit cross, which is why I am worried, and says it "just didn't work out" then doesn't want to talk much about why things ended. I get the impression things just ended between them (two years ago) because he's Polish (he studied at our university) and had to leave the UK after he graduated, so it was more of a distance thing. I can't say any more without sounding controlling b/c she really isn't even my GF yet.

    I really like this girl, she's mature (a couple of years older than me) and exotic, never dated someone like her before. She's more of a woman than a girl tbh but this chit pisses me off. She's clearly "still friends with" her ex and I can't come between them w/o sounding insecure, but this has caused awkwardness last Friday (she said I was being oversensitive) and now she's barely texting me.

    To make matters worse she clearly has a "type" (guys who lift and are shaven headed, saw the ex BF on FB and he looks like a European version of me lmao, same dress sense even). I don't want to compete with her ex. She also doesn't post slooty pictures on FB, tbh hers are all of her travelling but she still has guys who look like her "type" commenting on her profile pics saying that she looks like a model, and she flirts back.

    Wut do Misc? Fuking hate this, not the first girl I've dated lately with ex issues either.
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  2. #2
    Keanu Reeves Checking In Zackad's Avatar
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    here's how i've always handled this in the past.

    You don't tell her what she can or can't do, you just say that you like her and want a future with her (assuming you do) but you don't feel it's fair that you should have to compete with an ex or deal with this sort of situation, as she certainly wouldn't like for you to do this sort of thing to her. If she doesn't care, relegate her to FWB status and find another higher quality girl to seriously date.

    If she's serious about you, she won't do anything to jeopardize it even if they really are "just friends". Have had it work sometimes, and have had to throw away some girls over it before.
    "So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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  3. #3
    Registered User dolvioblue's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    Been dating this sloot off Tinder (srs) for the past month. Really like her TBH, shes not like most of the gym bunnies I usually date but she's got red hair, big ol' tiddies and a cute accent (she's Polish). Also a Masters student so she is legit smart, not your standard issue sloot. She said a few weeks ago after I took her out to dinner that she could see us being GF and BF.

    However there's a problem.. her ex bf (a photographer who travels the world apparently) is coming through our city and he wants to stay at her place for a few nights. She swears it's just as "old friends, nothing more" although she admits they were exes. Whenever she mentions him she seems to get a bit cross, which is why I am worried, and says it "just didn't work out" then doesn't want to talk much about why things ended. I get the impression things just ended between them (two years ago) because he's Polish (he studied at our university) and had to leave the UK after he graduated, so it was more of a distance thing. I can't say any more without sounding controlling b/c she really isn't even my GF yet.

    I really like this girl, she's mature (a couple of years older than me) and exotic, never dated someone like her before. She's more of a woman than a girl tbh but this chit pisses me off. She's clearly "still friends with" her ex and I can't come between them w/o sounding insecure, but this has caused awkwardness last Friday (she said I was being oversensitive) and now she's barely texting me.

    To make matters worse she clearly has a "type" (guys who lift and are shaven headed, saw the ex BF on FB and he looks like a European version of me lmao, same dress sense even). I don't want to compete with her ex. She also doesn't post slooty pictures on FB, tbh hers are all of her travelling but she still has guys who look like her "type" commenting on her profile pics saying that she looks like a model, and she flirts back.

    Wut do Misc? Fuking hate this, not the first girl I've dated lately with ex issues either.

    This is a tough one because you don’t want to seem controlling or untrusting of her. My thoughts are she should know this isn’t going to be okay with you.. if he’s coming to the city anyways him staying with her isn’t a requirement.

    I’d talk to her about where you stand and see if she feels the same about you as you do her. After this conversation you can say you’re not comfortable with it. It’s not about not trusting her it just isn’t want you want in this relationship.
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    Registered User skinnyfat88's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dolvioblue View Post
    This is a tough one because you don’t want to seem controlling or untrusting of her. My thoughts are she should know this isn’t going to be okay with you.. if he’s coming to the city anyways him staying with her isn’t a requirement.

    I’d talk to her about where you stand and see if she feels the same about you as you do her. After this conversation you can say you’re not comfortable with it. It’s not about not trusting her it just isn’t want you want in this relationship.
    This.
    90% of people would not be okay with the situation. If ex-bf has best intentions for said girl in mind, he should immediately insist he doesn't need to crash with her once finding out she's seeing somebody.

    If they want to have a visit over coffee or w/e I don't think it's a big deal but IMO people need to be mindful of the perception of the situation and how it will make their current significant other feel if they want to prioritize their relationship and give it the best odds of moving forward.

    If she doesn't come around it's probably an indication that you're going to disagree on many more boundaries moving forward.
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  5. #5
    Registered User textgod's Avatar
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    to me this is a deal-breaker. not just that she's willing to have her ex-bf stay with her, but also that she doesn't see this as a problem. the fact that she turned it around on you and called you "oversensitive" shows you the kind of person she is.

    a loyal girl would tell her ex-bf that he can't stay over but that he can meet up with you (her current bf) and her for dinner while he's in town. if he's soooo poor that he can't afford an airbnb/hotel room and she is REALLY nice, then he can stay at her place while she stays at yours.
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  6. #6
    Registered User rikugunchusa's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zackad View Post
    here's how i've always handled this in the past.

    You don't tell her what she can or can't do, you just say that you like her and want a future with her (assuming you do) but you don't feel it's fair that you should have to compete with an ex or deal with this sort of situation, as she certainly wouldn't like for you to do this sort of thing to her. If she doesn't care, relegate her to FWB status and find another higher quality girl to seriously date.

    If she's serious about you, she won't do anything to jeopardize it even if they really are "just friends". Have had it work sometimes, and have had to throw away some girls over it before.
    This her getting defensive about it is a red flag imo, mught as well put it all on the table cuz if she really was down she woulsnt let him stay
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  7. #7
    Registered User 300BLK's Avatar
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    lol if she respected you at all she would get your consent first, first of all, and wouldn't try to force/justify it by calling you overemotional, immature, oversensitive, or any of those things.
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  8. #8
    Registered User BritishTwit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zackad View Post
    here's how i've always handled this in the past.

    You don't tell her what she can or can't do, you just say that you like her and want a future with her (assuming you do) but you don't feel it's fair that you should have to compete with an ex or deal with this sort of situation, as she certainly wouldn't like for you to do this sort of thing to her. If she doesn't care, relegate her to FWB status and find another higher quality girl to seriously date.

    If she's serious about you, she won't do anything to jeopardize it even if they really are "just friends". Have had it work sometimes, and have had to throw away some girls over it before.
    Thanks brah, I did say to her last Friday that I feel bad and wouldn't if I didn't care about her and she said I was taking it too seriously and I have female friends too. Which situations has it worked for you in?

    I've gotten bad vibes over him previously TBH, the fact that he's the most recent one of her exes and looks very similar to me. She's ordered a drink for me before and got me something I hate, when I pointed it out she said "I thought you liked (x)," it turned out to be something her boyfriend liked. She also keeps insisting "You're such a bad boy" to me sometimes when I'm a massive pussy lmao, apparently he WAS a "bad boy" type though.

    Idk I just get the impression she projects him onto me a lot, maybe wishes I were him sometimes.

    Apparently he's staying over and maybe going for a walk with her to snap some pictures and chit.
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  9. #9
    Registered User BritishTwit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by dolvioblue View Post
    This is a tough one because you don’t want to seem controlling or untrusting of her. My thoughts are she should know this isn’t going to be okay with you.. if he’s coming to the city anyways him staying with her isn’t a requirement.

    I’d talk to her about where you stand and see if she feels the same about you as you do her. After this conversation you can say you’re not comfortable with it. It’s not about not trusting her it just isn’t want you want in this relationship.
    The way she says it they've been friends for ages though. I genuinely didn't think they were even friends now because when she's mentioned him previously she seems annoyed at him, this came out of the blue. Admittedly FB stalked her a few weeks ago though and idk, maybe it's the fact he looks so much like me and her "type" but I just got a feeling he was going to be an issue or was still in her head.

    We did kind of talk about it last Friday, things got a bit heated though. She's gone from texting constantly to barely replying.

    We're not in a relationship yet, she said she wanted one when I asked her what she wanted but have just been dating for about a month.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    This.
    90% of people would not be okay with the situation.
    If ex-bf has best intentions for said girl in mind, he should immediately insist he doesn't need to crash with her once finding out she's seeing somebody.

    If they want to have a visit over coffee or w/e I don't think it's a big deal but IMO people need to be mindful of the perception of the situation and how it will make their current significant other feel if they want to prioritize their relationship and give it the best odds of moving forward.

    If she doesn't come around it's probably an indication that you're going to disagree on many more boundaries moving forward.
    Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Apparently, he is staying over for a few days, they are going for a walk and maybe drive and taking pictures. She works on top of uni though so she won't be able to do much with him due to time.

    I'm not in a relationship with her yet, just been dating her for a month. She has enough positive qualities that I would like to be in one with her though.

    We have had arguments about boundaries already, she makes insulting jokes and says it's just Polish culture.
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  10. #10
    Registered User BritishTwit's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by textgod View Post
    to me this is a deal-breaker. not just that she's willing to have her ex-bf stay with her, but also that she doesn't see this as a problem. the fact that she turned it around on you and called you "oversensitive" shows you the kind of person she is.

    a loyal girl would tell her ex-bf that he can't stay over but that he can meet up with you (her current bf) and her for dinner while he's in town. if he's soooo poor that he can't afford an airbnb/hotel room and she is REALLY nice, then he can stay at her place while she stays at yours.
    According to her they're good friends and she does have a nice apartment, so why should she have to insist she find a hotel and can't she have friends over?

    As I posted above apparently they're going to go around and see the city and take pictures (she does a Masters in Art History). They have a lot in common and it bugs me out. I can't go with them on that day because I'm at work as a student bartender.

    Originally Posted by rikugunchusa View Post
    This her getting defensive about it is a red flag imo, mught as well put it all on the table cuz if she really was down she woulsnt let him stay
    Originally Posted by 300BLK View Post
    lol if she respected you at all she would get your consent first, first of all, and wouldn't try to force/justify it by calling you overemotional, immature, oversensitive, or any of those things.
    Thanks guys, yeah that was my instinct but not sure if I'm being too sensitive. Shes said I'm too sensitive previously as well, she kept saying I study and work and gym all the time and need to get a life, and didn't get why it pissed me off. She doesn't have an off filter sometimes.

    That's a good point 300BLK, weird thing is she's like the above sometimes but also sometimes a bit of a doormat (lets me do what I want in bed, nomsayin?) and will come over when I text her at night. Not sure if that's why I'm finding it hard to be objective here.
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    Registered User bemirrindaily's Avatar
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    brah, i be honest with you ya. the main problem with you is that you put this sloot on pedestal. i know this coz u say how she is not like rest. newsflash --women are exactly like that. it dont matter if she studies masters or phd or is applying for NASA, chicks are all like that bruh. Ima tryin save ya from the heartbreak, when in doubt, which u clearly are rigt now, assume chick u seeing is a sloot. it will help ya put her off of the pedestal. her ex has no reasons to stay with her in the same house for several nights lmoa
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    Registered User 300BLK's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    The way she says it they've been friends for ages though. I genuinely didn't think they were even friends now because when she's mentioned him previously she seems annoyed at him, this came out of the blue. Admittedly FB stalked her a few weeks ago though and idk, maybe it's the fact he looks so much like me and her "type" but I just got a feeling he was going to be an issue or was still in her head.

    We did kind of talk about it last Friday, things got a bit heated though. She's gone from texting constantly to barely replying.

    We're not in a relationship yet, she said she wanted one when I asked her what she wanted but have just been dating for about a month.



    Glad to hear I'm not the only one. Apparently, he is staying over for a few days, they are going for a walk and maybe drive and taking pictures. She works on top of uni though so she won't be able to do much with him due to time.

    I'm not in a relationship with her yet, just been dating her for a month. She has enough positive qualities that I would like to be in one with her though.

    We have had arguments about boundaries already, she makes insulting jokes and says it's just Polish culture.
    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    According to her they're good friends and she does have a nice apartment, so why should she have to insist she find a hotel and can't she have friends over?

    As I posted above apparently they're going to go around and see the city and take pictures (she does a Masters in Art History). They have a lot in common and it bugs me out. I can't go with them on that day because I'm at work as a student bartender.





    Thanks guys, yeah that was my instinct but not sure if I'm being too sensitive. Shes said I'm too sensitive previously as well, she kept saying I study and work and gym all the time and need to get a life, and didn't get why it pissed me off. She doesn't have an off filter sometimes.

    That's a good point 300BLK, weird thing is she's like the above sometimes but also sometimes a bit of a doormat (lets me do what I want in bed, nomsayin?) and will come over when I text her at night. Not sure if that's why I'm finding it hard to be objective here.
    Okay, so you guys are not in a relationship yet and are just dating. Still a red flag. She's definitely keeping her options open if she needs an ex in her life outside of work/school/business reasons. If she really wanted a relationship, she'd find a way to respect you enough to include your opinion on letting her ex in. But she's not giving you that respect at all, showing signs that you're not her only option and she's not ready to move forward with you at all, also shows future lack of trust and loyalty. I wouldn't move forward with this girl at all, or at least wouldn't keep it more than a FWB.
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    thats called getting cucked. 100% deal breaker
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    OP, as much as you don't want to hear this. It's already over. Do NOT go FWB with her, I don't think you have the mental capacity to do it (based on what you've written so far)

    Instead of wasting your time and losing years of your life while being insecure over her ex, just save yourself all the time and money.

    99.9% things will not work out with her. If you were into another chick would you let your ex stay with you?

    I go NC with most exes even when im single. It's just baggage.
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    Honestly even if you trust her yadda yadda it seems like she will be the type who needs to run the show and is inconsiderate of your feelings and opinions when they differ from hers. People who can't be empathetic towards those closest to them do not make good long term partners OP.
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    Keanu Reeves Checking In Zackad's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    Thanks brah, I did say to her last Friday that I feel bad and wouldn't if I didn't care about her and she said I was taking it too seriously and I have female friends too. Which situations has it worked for you in?

    I've gotten bad vibes over him previously TBH, the fact that he's the most recent one of her exes and looks very similar to me. She's ordered a drink for me before and got me something I hate, when I pointed it out she said "I thought you liked (x)," it turned out to be something her boyfriend liked. She also keeps insisting "You're such a bad boy" to me sometimes when I'm a massive pussy lmao, apparently he WAS a "bad boy" type though.

    Idk I just get the impression she projects him onto me a lot, maybe wishes I were him sometimes.

    Apparently he's staying over and maybe going for a walk with her to snap some pictures and chit.
    if that's really the case you should just call it and move on brah. she's already comparing you to him and still has him in her mind.

    RE: your first statement, sounds like you worded it wrong. Don't let them know it makes you feel bad or insecure...just that it shouldn't even be a problem if she's interested in pursuing anything with you.

    As for him looking like you...could go either way. maybe you're both just her type, or maybe she's trying to find a replacement. but based on what you said...replacement sounds more likely, in which case you will probably never live up to him as evidenced by the fact she is letting him stay with her and just called you oversensitive over the issue. If she thought you were a better option, she would be telling him to fuk off so that it wouldn't even be an issue after you voiced your concern.

    $50 says that walk either gets subverted for some morning sex or turns into voyeuristic PDA. $100 if the walk they're going on is a secluded hike or some ish. DOn't hold me to that cuz I'm in no place to pay out any bets rn lmao.
    "So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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    Honestly could be a test too OP... to see how you react, or if you're getting territorial or even have feelings for her.

    Woman are known to sh!ttest men often to see where they stand.
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    Originally Posted by thadderbox View Post
    Honestly could be a test too OP... to see how you react, or if you're getting territorial or even have feelings for her.

    Woman are known to sh!ttest men often to see where they stand.
    Even if it's a "test", it's out of line.

    This situation is absolute insanity OP, if you accept this you're a massive beta cuck. The fact you're even skirting around this for fear of seeming insecure is massively beta.

    You should have immediately set a hard boundary on this; her ex can absolutely not stay with her, it's absurd even as a suggestion, if she doesn't drop this it's finished, her behavior around this situation is very, very concerning and by itself may warrant the breakup.

    It's unbelievable to me that you are even thinking this might be okay, and shows how manipulated you are by her. Also, you've known this girl for a month, stop putting her on a ridiculous pedestal.
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    This is not okay mate and the fact that you are half defending her seeking reasons why it's okay shows how much she has you whipped

    You have far stronger feelings for her than she has for you by sounds of it

    This situation is a instant relationship ender for me personly
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    Originally Posted by bemirrindaily View Post
    brah, i be honest with you ya. the main problem with you is that you put this sloot on pedestal. i know this coz u say how she is not like rest. newsflash --women are exactly like that. it dont matter if she studies masters or phd or is applying for NASA, chicks are all like that bruh. Ima tryin save ya from the heartbreak, when in doubt, which u clearly are rigt now, assume chick u seeing is a sloot. it will help ya put her off of the pedestal. her ex has no reasons to stay with her in the same house for several nights lmoa
    Thanks brah, hoping she's a good girl like she comes off as sometimes though. I don't have her on a pedestal but am defo into her lol, she is great in bed TBH so not sure if that's clouding my mind.

    Originally Posted by 300BLK View Post
    Okay, so you guys are not in a relationship yet and are just dating. Still a red flag. She's definitely keeping her options open if she needs an ex in her life outside of work/school/business reasons. If she really wanted a relationship, she'd find a way to respect you enough to include your opinion on letting her ex in. But she's not giving you that respect at all, showing signs that you're not her only option and she's not ready to move forward with you at all, also shows future lack of trust and loyalty. I wouldn't move forward with this girl at all, or at least wouldn't keep it more than a FWB.
    Thanks man, I don't want FWB at all with her TBH. Thought she was one of the few Tinder sloots I had the chance of a relationship with.

    Why would she say she wanted one if she didn't though? Feelsbadmane

    Originally Posted by fishnbrah View Post
    thats called getting cucked. 100% deal breaker
    Are you sure they'll end up doing something if he stays over then? She'll be busy with her studies and work from the sounds of it, but he wants to see the city for a walk or drive, she admitted that
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    Originally Posted by BullittEV View Post
    OP, as much as you don't want to hear this. It's already over. Do NOT go FWB with her, I don't think you have the mental capacity to do it (based on what you've written so far)

    Instead of wasting your time and losing years of your life while being insecure over her ex, just save yourself all the time and money.

    99.9% things will not work out with her. If you were into another chick would you let your ex stay with you?

    I go NC with most exes even when im single. It's just baggage.
    Great post man. You're right I don't want FWB with this one. I do have the chance at FWB with younger, hotter chicks closer to my age.. just got a soft spot for this one lol. She comes across as the "good girl" which I like.

    The way she frames it, it's me (a guy she's been dating for 1 month) being too controlling/insecure over a longterm friend (this guy) who also happens to be her ex.

    Yea I'm the same man, exes are too much drama. TBH most girls I've met recently do seem to have ex issues which is annoying AF. I just go NC on my exes.

    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Honestly even if you trust her yadda yadda it seems like she will be the type who needs to run the show and is inconsiderate of your feelings and opinions when they differ from hers. People who can't be empathetic towards those closest to them do not make good long term partners OP.
    That's a really good point man, why do you say that exactly tho?

    Originally Posted by Zackad View Post
    if that's really the case you should just call it and move on brah. she's already comparing you to him and still has him in her mind.

    RE: your first statement, sounds like you worded it wrong. Don't let them know it makes you feel bad or insecure...just that it shouldn't even be a problem if she's interested in pursuing anything with you.

    As for him looking like you...could go either way. maybe you're both just her type, or maybe she's trying to find a replacement. but based on what you said...replacement sounds more likely, in which case you will probably never live up to him as evidenced by the fact she is letting him stay with her and just called you oversensitive over the issue. If she thought you were a better option, she would be telling him to fuk off so that it wouldn't even be an issue after you voiced your concern.

    $50 says that walk either gets subverted for some morning sex or turns into voyeuristic PDA. $100 if the walk they're going on is a secluded hike or some ish. DOn't hold me to that cuz I'm in no place to pay out any bets rn lmao.
    So you reckon the fact she treats me like I'm him sometimes means she's comparing us? Damn, that chit isn't good man.

    They haven't dated for years but could she still be looking for a replacement for him? They might have stayed together if he hadn't gone back to Poland. Fuk, does that make me the second option then?

    I won't lol, those bets sounds srs though. And sadly you'd probably win them too Idk, "a walk or drive with my ex" just doesn't seem right lol, even if they are now "just good friends".

    With her being a bit older, she says that's what mature people do too get on with their exes.
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    Originally Posted by thadderbox View Post
    Honestly could be a test too OP... to see how you react, or if you're getting territorial or even have feelings for her.

    Woman are known to sh!ttest men often to see where they stand.
    I've heard of chit tests. That's fuking psycho if true though. She does come off as insensitive sometimes TBH. Or too much of a pushover, like I said I can text her at 11pm and she'll come over and be my booty call (she lives close to my student flats).

    Originally Posted by Luc1fer View Post
    Even if it's a "test", it's out of line.

    This situation is absolute insanity OP, if you accept this you're a massive beta cuck. The fact you're even skirting around this for fear of seeming insecure is massively beta.

    You should have immediately set a hard boundary on this; her ex can absolutely not stay with her, it's absurd even as a suggestion, if she doesn't drop this it's finished, her behavior around this situation is very, very concerning and by itself may warrant the breakup.

    It's unbelievable to me that you are even thinking this might be okay, and shows how manipulated you are by her. Also, you've known this girl for a month, stop putting her on a ridiculous pedestal.
    Thanks man. I wouldn't say I'm putting her on a pedestal as I do have doubts but she has traits I like too, not just being hot/good in bed but also being a bit older/more mature than the other girls I've known, before we argued over this she was clingy which I like, we click a lot, she's smart etc.

    From the sounds of things he is still thinking about whether to book accommodation, but they are definitely going to hang out 1 on 1 at some point, go for a walk or drive and take photos. IDK maybe it's my instinct but just sounds suspicious AF - she often asks me if I want to go and take photos, and I say no as it's not my thing. So I get the feeling she's looking for a replacement for him as posted above, she thinks I have traits he does and we look similar.

    Also, the time they want to hang out at is one I can't make myself as I'm working at the bar that day (student job).

    Originally Posted by dylanstephens54 View Post
    This is not okay mate and the fact that you are half defending her seeking reasons why it's okay shows how much she has you whipped

    You have far stronger feelings for her than she has for you by sounds of it


    This situation is a instant relationship ender for me personly
    What makes you say that bruh?

    What would make you end it, her attitude towards things or the actual act of hanging out with/having her ex stay over?
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    What makes you say that bruh?

    What would make you end it, her attitude towards things or the actual act of hanging out with/having her ex stay over?
    What he is saying is that there is ZERO reason why someone needs to be in contact with an ex. I get if things ended mutual or if she had a kid with him, but her not telling you why it ended is fishy in itself. People who stay in contact with an ex still have the relationship open just incase their current thing doesn't work out.

    This wouldn't even be a thread if she said no to her ex staying over. You already get this is an issue hence why he said you have more feelings for her because if the feelings were mutual, this literally wouldn't even be an issue.
    I did not have sexual relations with that woman, Miss Lewinsky. I never told anybody to lie, not a single time; never. These allegations are false. And I need to go back to work for the American people. Thank you.
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    Originally Posted by skinnyfat88 View Post
    Honestly even if you trust her yadda yadda it seems like she will be the type who needs to run the show and is inconsiderate of your feelings and opinions when they differ from hers. People who can't be empathetic towards those closest to them do not make good long term partners OP.
    Why do I say this?

    - doesn't care that you feel uncomfortable and resorts to calling you "oversensitive" to make you question yourself rather than empathizing with you and compromising
    - goes cold on you afterwards
    - flirts with guys via IG comments

    Ex wife was Eastern European. Poor communicator. Not empathetic. Didn't understand the give/take/compromise of forming strong relationships. "Cold" demeanor to 95% of people.

    Might be a bit off topic but pay attention to how she treats you when things aren't perfect and pay even more attention to how she treats others, what kind of close relationships she's maintained, and the people within her inner circle.
    If you notice anything concerning in those areas it's probably a red flag and you shouldn't pursue further.
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    99% chance this is a troll, but if she didn't tell him to find somewhere else to sleep then she isn't that into you

    I had an ex gf ask to crash on my couch and told her lol no my current gf wouldn't like that, especially when she "jokingly" offered to blow me in exchange for it. I can only imagine what the messages between them look like.
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    Thanks man. I wouldn't say I'm putting her on a pedestal as I do have doubts but she has traits I like too, not just being hot/good in bed but also being a bit older/more mature than the other girls I've known, before we argued over this she was clingy which I like, we click a lot, she's smart etc.
    I think you're really clouded by the sex, a lot of the positives you list are physical.

    Every person is a mix of good and bad traits (at least subjectively). Recognize the good traits, and learn to seek them quicker in a future partner.

    This is really out of line though. As soon as you showed discomfort, she should've understood and backed down.
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    Been dating this sloot off Tinder (srs) for the past month. Really like her TBH, shes not like most of the gym bunnies I usually date but she's got red hair, big ol' tiddies and a cute accent (she's Polish). Also a Masters student so she is legit smart, not your standard issue sloot. She said a few weeks ago after I took her out to dinner that she could see us being GF and BF.

    However there's a problem.. her ex bf (a photographer who travels the world apparently) is coming through our city and he wants to stay at her place for a few nights. She swears it's just as "old friends, nothing more" although she admits they were exes. Whenever she mentions him she seems to get a bit cross, which is why I am worried, and says it "just didn't work out" then doesn't want to talk much about why things ended. I get the impression things just ended between them (two years ago) because he's Polish (he studied at our university) and had to leave the UK after he graduated, so it was more of a distance thing. I can't say any more without sounding controlling b/c she really isn't even my GF yet.

    I really like this girl, she's mature (a couple of years older than me) and exotic, never dated someone like her before. She's more of a woman than a girl tbh but this chit pisses me off. She's clearly "still friends with" her ex and I can't come between them w/o sounding insecure, but this has caused awkwardness last Friday (she said I was being oversensitive) and now she's barely texting me.

    To make matters worse she clearly has a "type" (guys who lift and are shaven headed, saw the ex BF on FB and he looks like a European version of me lmao, same dress sense even). I don't want to compete with her ex. She also doesn't post slooty pictures on FB, tbh hers are all of her travelling but she still has guys who look like her "type" commenting on her profile pics saying that she looks like a model, and she flirts back.

    Wut do Misc? Fuking hate this, not the first girl I've dated lately with ex issues either.
    A girl I'm dating I told her straight up I was willing to block her for talking to this dude who is like 3 years older than her. Idgaf honestly. I'm investing my time and I don't have to waste. Pussy no pussy idgaf. She then always replies and I end up with my point across. I'm willing to block these hoes over whatever. Tinder, bamboozle all that bs that gives power to women can suck dez nuts cuz I ain't doing bs is what I communicate. If a girl communicates back, is good enough for me to know she has some decency. Defensive over logic = slut

    70% by the second day of his ex being on her house they're probs goin to fuk. He is going to try a move is almost guaranteed given the fact he knows he can have it. And girls act dumb inocent knowing they love being sluts. Nope. I wouldn't deal this but Ik how you must feel having a connection with this girl. In my opinion you're probably goin to get cucked
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    Originally Posted by BritishTwit View Post
    So you reckon the fact she treats me like I'm him sometimes means she's comparing us? Damn, that chit isn't good man.

    They haven't dated for years but could she still be looking for a replacement for him? They might have stayed together if he hadn't gone back to Poland. Fuk, does that make me the second option then?

    I won't lol, those bets sounds srs though. And sadly you'd probably win them too Idk, "a walk or drive with my ex" just doesn't seem right lol, even if they are now "just good friends".

    With her being a bit older, she says that's what mature people do too get on with their exes.
    If she's ordering drinks he likes for you, you can bet he's still on her mind and she barely sees you as a different person, or else she'd be cognizant of how fukin weird that is to do.

    As for not dating for years...time can mean everything or nothing. He might be the one who got away, or he might just be her best relationship that she isn't hung up on and simply indulges in every time he's around. but even so that's not a good sign for you. and it would def make you the second option particularly if you look almost the same as him and you guys are only together because they didn't work out. It's hard for most people to come to terms with a relationship ending simply over distance, because there's always that "what if". and yeah..a walk or a drive with an ex is weird enough on it's own unless they're trying to smash, even weirder when one of them is involved with someone else.

    Mature people are friendly with their exes, not friends. Anyone with a brain realizes that staying friends with exes is only going to hurt them and their future prospects in the long run. The only reason any couple should remain friends after breaking up is because they have a kid or are single.

    Like I said, I had to deal with this with my current gf. She mentioned that her ex had invited her out to a club one night and that they texted occasionally because they remained friends after their breakup. She asked me my opinion, and I flat out told her "I'm not gonna tell you who you can or can't be friends with, but it's weird that you would even entertain the idea of hanging out with him in any setting, let alone a club, if I mean anything to you. Up to you how you wanna handle it." Not only did she decline his invite, but she also was proactive and told him they shouldn't talk anymore while her and I were dating. That's how a female should respond, not tell you that you're being oversensitive and try to justify it.
    "So there I am sitting in the waiting area of the hair salon with my niece and Keanu Reeves walks in. I was nervous as ****, but too scared to say anything to him. Then my niece started crying, and I’m trying to quiet her down because I don't want to bother him. Pretty soon he walks over and asks what's wrong. I replied that she was probably hungry. He put down his magazine, picked up my niece, and lifted up his shirt, and breastfed her right there in the salon. Chill guy, really nice about it."
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  29. #29
    No homo... GiveMeTheD's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by Zackad View Post
    If she's ordering drinks he likes for you, you can bet he's still on her mind and she barely sees you as a different person, or else she'd be cognizant of how fukin weird that is to do.

    As for not dating for years...time can mean everything or nothing. He might be the one who got away, or he might just be her best relationship that she isn't hung up on and simply indulges in every time he's around. but even so that's not a good sign for you. and it would def make you the second option particularly if you look almost the same as him and you guys are only together because they didn't work out. It's hard for most people to come to terms with a relationship ending simply over distance, because there's always that "what if". and yeah..a walk or a drive with an ex is weird enough on it's own unless they're trying to smash, even weirder when one of them is involved with someone else.

    Mature people are friendly with their exes, not friends. Anyone with a brain realizes that staying friends with exes is only going to hurt them and their future prospects in the long run. The only reason any couple should remain friends after breaking up is because they have a kid or are single.

    Like I said, I had to deal with this with my current gf. She mentioned that her ex had invited her out to a club one night and that they texted occasionally because they remained friends after their breakup. She asked me my opinion, and I flat out told her "I'm not gonna tell you who you can or can't be friends with, but it's weird that you would even entertain the idea of hanging out with him in any setting, let alone a club, if I mean anything to you. Up to you how you wanna handle it." Not only did she decline his invite, but she also was proactive and told him they shouldn't talk anymore while her and I were dating. That's how a female should respond, not tell you that you're being oversensitive and try to justify it.
    You have more patience than me.

    An ex of mine asked me similar and I broke up with her that day. I didn't get mad, I just cannot be bothered with people who keep communication open with exes, and even entertain the idea of going out clubbing?

    Maybe I have trust issues, but I personally don't stay in touch with exes. Whats the point?
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  30. #30
    rambo CrimsonSteel's Avatar
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    Girls tell you the first 10 minutes of an interaction, or 10% of the truth.

    "My ex will being staying with me a few nights" is the 10% of "My ex I'm still deeply in love with that I'm trying to replace, with YOU, is coming to stay with me a few nights, and I'm absolutely ecstatic to have some kinky post-breakup sex with someone that used to ravage my body multiple times daily better than you ever have in our middling FWB situation."

    Or...

    "He kissed me at the party" is 10% of "He kissed me at the party, then we moved it from the bathroom to the bedroom. Then I was jerking him off while he simultaneously fingered my slit and anus before finally ripping each other's clothes off, 69ing, then f#@king missionary on my friends parents bed until he creampied me. I know I'm not on birthcontrol, but I still let him creampie another 3 times that night."
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